The Ultimate Guide to Having Anal Sex

One of the most popular fantasies is anal sex, but it requires practice and preparation to do well.

Anal sex is one of the most common queries I field as a sex educator. In addition to being one of the most prevalent fantasies, it is also one of the most frequent sexual encounters that end badly. I've heard countless terrifying tales of people who had anal intercourse when intoxicated and/or young, only to have the experience go so wrong that they don't want to do it again for years or even forever. When I begin to ask questions, these encounters usually share three characteristics: a lack of lubricant, warm-up, excitement, and communication.

Anal Play the Safe and Pleasurable Way

Slow Down When Engaging in Anal Play

Anal intercourse may be extremely enjoyable for persons of all genders when done correctly and with care. It's also easy to learn how to do it safely. To begin with, you must slow down significantly. I mean slowing down and having lengthy conversations with your spouse before having sex, not just slowly engaging in penetration (though I mean that too, and we'll get there).

Talk About Anal Sex Before Trying It

The most excellent approach to get ready for any sexual experience is to discuss needs and expectations beforehand. Inquire about your partner's past experiences with anal intercourse and what they believe they'll need to make it enjoyable and comfortable. Refrain from rushing into sex. Talk to people in person or by text if required. This guarantees that the conversation will remain the main emphasis. Additionally, the negotiation can even function as dirty chat to get you both excited about what's to come, and the anticipation is part of the fun.

Try Anal Play or Anal Sex Toys On Yourself First

You may wish to test anal penetration alone before attempting it with a companion. Fingers may be helpful for this, depending on your level of flexibility, but you can also use a variety of anal toys and butt plugs. To prevent it from being sucked up into your body, make sure that anything entering your butt has a broad, flared base. An astonishing number of people end up in the emergency department with something trapped in their butt.

Before attempting anal penetration on your partner, it can be beneficial to try it on yourself, even if you are not interested in experiencing it yourself. There's nothing like going through it firsthand to truly understand how delicate the area is and how slowly you'll need to proceed.

The Ins and Outs of Anal Intercourse - Safety

You should begin with external anal stimulation, whether you're by yourself or with a partner. Touching the anus and its surrounding area can be extremely enjoyable due to its extreme sensitivity. Get accustomed to having this part of your body touched by beginning with an external massage while using a lot of lubrication. Just concentrating on exterior touch may be sufficient for your first effort or your first few attempts. One of the best ways to begin acclimating to the thought of anal penetration or being penetrated anally yourself is to incorporate external touch into your foreplay activities.

Be highly cautious about cross-contamination if you have a vulva. Before touching a vulva or vagina, anything that has come into contact with or pierced the anus needs to be well cleaned. Otherwise, bacteria can lead to several disagreeable diseases.

This can be significantly aided by anal play with gloves. After you finish, you may remove the glove to free up your hand for other tasks. There are different advantages to gloves. They aid in ensuring that your hands are smooth and silky and that your fingernails won't cause rectum tears or scrapes. Because of the microorganisms present, tears in this area can be very problematic.

Due to the rectum's thin mucous membranes and susceptibility to micro tears, anal intercourse increases the risk of STI infection. When choosing the type of obstacles to employ, bear this in mind.

Warming Up for Anal Sex

Are you prepared to begin? Step by step, let's do this:

Talk to Your Partner About Anal Play

Be cautious when negotiating. Be sure to clarify whether anal penetration or merely external anal touch or analus will occur. Talk about the necessity for safety, the obstacles you'll use, and your communication strategy during intercourse.

Get Clean

When it comes to anal play, some people are concerned about hygiene. This won't be a big deal unless you've had stomach issues. Typically, anal penetration stops at the rectum. Fecal matter does not remain in the rectum because of another sphincter that separates it from the colon. You should be fine if you use the restroom a few hours beforehand.

To ensure that you are comfortable and confident about your body, taking a shower can be a terrific method to get ready for sex or as part of foreplay. You can use an anal douche or an enema if you're terrified, but be sure to research them and use only body-safe materials. In my opinion, you should conduct an exterior wash. Keeping some baby wipes by the bed can also be helpful if cleanup is required. Bodies can perform surprising things. If you want to have adventurous and intimate sex, it's beneficial to be comfortable with that.

Prepare Your Space for Anal Play

When you're ready to play, you can lay down a towel for extra protection. This ensures that any mess is kept to a minimum. Additionally, you can prevent the sheets from becoming slippery because you'll use a lot of lubricant.

Get Plenty of (the Right Kind of) Lube

Make sure you have an ample supply of lubricant. For anal play, many people prefer something thicker or more slippery, such as a silicone-based lubricant, although a body-safe water-based lube is always an excellent option. This is a fantastic reason to visit your preferred sex-positive sex toy retailer and discover a lubricant that you adore. (Read more in Which lubricant is best for anal intercourse.)

Avoid purchasing any numbing agents intended for anal sex (or deepthroating) while you're shopping. Your body uses pain as a warning sign when anything is amiss. The signals must be audible to you. It's a bad idea to numb the pain only to discover bleeding or tears afterwards. Additionally, it is simply false that numbing drugs suggest that anal intercourse will always be painful. Therefore, instead of taking a shortcut by utilizing numbing chemicals, stick to arousal, lubricant, and moving slowly.

Start With External Anal Massage

After obtaining your lubricant, you must install it. There will be several steps involved. You should apply lubricant to the outside of the anus using your fingertips. Anal massage is an excellent way to promote relaxation and arousal during this time.

Moving Toward Anal Penetration

Let the person being penetrated take charge of the procedure when it comes to anal penetration, especially if it's your first time. As they transfer their body onto you, the toy, or your fingers, maintain communication throughout. Moving too quickly can cause excruciating discomfort because the anus is such a sensitive place that even small movements can be felt strongly.

To ensure that the fingers or toys are completely lubricated before entering and that they also deposit lubrication inside the body, you should keep adding lube. Every time an object is inserted, it should be lubricated.

Both relaxation and arousal are necessary for the penetration to occur. Ensure you've done other things first, like getting a massage or making out, whichever suits you best. While some relaxation can be done intentionally, some cannot. It is possible to deliberately regulate the external sphincter, which is the one you see when you look at your anus. You must be calm for this to be possible and feel nice, because there is another sphincter an inch or less further inside that cannot be controlled by choice.

To help your body relax, try some breathing techniques. Additionally, knowing that this method won't cause any pain is helpful. Your body will tense up as soon as there is pain; once that happens, it is difficult to get it to relax.

Anal Sex Positions

When choosing which anal sex positions to explore, it's best to consider the receiver's comfort. Because of this, it can be a terrific idea to allow the receiver to be on top. In this manner, they may fully regulate the penetration rate and any subsequent thrusting. Additionally, the receiver on top frees up both partners' hands for genital stimulation, which can be very beneficial for maintaining erotic pleasure.

For many people, the traditional missionary role is effective. Additionally, this stance frees up your hands for other tasks. I'll stress this again since it's crucial to be aroused. Using hands or toys to excite yourself during penetration and throughout anal sex can be pretty beneficial. In this manner, you can get the precise touch you desire while your spouse can concentrate on their work and take their time. To get the angles just perfect, it can be pretty helpful to place pillows or a Liberator Wedge beneath the penetrated person's hips if they are on their back.

Doggy style will come naturally to certain people. According to some studies, the body appears to open up a little in this position. However, exercise caution because it may be simpler to slip into this position and go deeper and faster than you had planned. Even in doggy style, you want to regulate the anal penetration speed and allow the recipient to progressively back up. Although it may be a bit more challenging to utilize hands or toys for extra stimulation in this position, a great deal of mobility is available.

Try moving a little, but slowly, after you've chosen a position and feel at ease with penetration. Compared to vaginal penetration, you will need to proceed much more slowly. It's okay if you never build up to such speeds. Because the anal region is so sensitive, an intense sensation can be experienced without forceful thrusting.

Prostate and G-Spot Stimulation During Anal Play

You can try to stimulate the receiver's prostate during anal penetration if they have one. You can also try stimulating the receiver's G-spot, or the urethral sponge area. The rectum and vaginal membranes are sufficiently thin to allow stimulation of the entire clitoral complex. Direct stimulation can be too powerful for some people, so it's even more enjoyable for others.

Please don't feel pressured to continue until one or both of them climax. Many people can experience an anal orgasm, although anal sex can also be one of multiple activities that take place during a sexual encounter. If you watch out for cross-contamination, feel free to mix it up with other types of play.

What happens after anal sex?

Everyone will want to clean up after anal intercourse is over. While taking a bath or shower together might be pleasant, bringing your lover a warm, wet washcloth can also be particularly pleasant.

Make sure to take care of yourself and get some cuddles. It's essential to allow oneself time to recuperate and connect since trying anything new might be intense. Discuss what went well and what needs improvement once a while has passed or the following day. In this manner, you may make sure that your next anal sex experience is even greater.

But what if I don't like anal sex?

Have you tried all of these suggestions and still decided that anal sex isn't for you? It's alright! There's no need to push yourself or feel guilty if anal sex doesn't feel pleasant to you; it's not for everyone. Never give in to pressure from a partner to do something you don't want to. The body can perform various things to make you feel happy. There are many additional options for you to investigate.