In the News: Hold Onto Your Butts – Dinosaur Erotica Is Here

Erotic literature can occasionally be so strange or unusual that we assume it must be a joke. I reacted similarly when I saw that dinosaur erotica was accessible on Kindle. I'm not referring to romance or porn books about dinosaur-era troglodytes. I'm referring to the sex actions that dinosaurs and humans performed on one another. Additionally, most of the sex that people have with dinosaurs is not voluntary because so much of the sex in "romance" literature involves sexual grey areas. Taken by T-Rex and Raged by the Raptor are the real names of some of these ancient giggity-books.

Actually.

You may be wondering why anyone in the world believes that erotica with cold-blooded, scaly characters is a calling. As it turns out, dinosaur porn is very popular and is widely regarded as the next natural step after werewolf sex and vampire romance. Two authors in their twenties, Christie Sims and Alara Branwen (not their real names) write 15–20 page short stories about sexual reptiles that are available as eBooks on Amazon. That's fortunate because you probably wouldn't want to be caught reading a book with the title "Mounted by the Gryphon" printed on it. However, Sims and Branwen don't stop with ancient animals. In addition, they write erotica about Pegasus, centaurs, dragons, and orcs. Pegasus is hanging like a horse, I've heard!

Dino porn is quite explicit and meant for adults, although it should go without saying. However, that doesn't mean it won't make you more of a child. Perhaps "Rise of the Dinosaur's …Erection" or a tale with a fern gully and a forked tongue would be a classic. Ferngully already has a somewhat sexual sound, after all.

I'm the cheerful kind, so when I heard about dinosaur porn, my only thought was of the amusing titles that might be used. "Land of the Lost … Condom" would be a bestseller. Alternatively, "The G-Spot that Time Forgot." It's more akin to an exciting dinosaur mystery. Even while not everyone has the desire to read "Dino-Cock," "1 Million Years BJ," or "King Dong," it's still kind of comforting to know that they exist … just in case.