Preparing for Pegging: 5 Steps to P-Spot Pleasure
Research, practice, and the appropriate tools are necessary for enjoyable pegging.
You're most likely at least thinking about pegging your lover if you're reading this article. However, there are no restrictions requiring you to peg your partner, just like in all things sexual.
First, ask yourself if you want to peg them. If so, what would be the most comfortable way for you to do it?
That should be the beginning of the conversation and stay that way for the duration. Your degree of comfort and enjoyment are equally as significant as your partner's. Keep that in mind at all times!
Don't wear a realistic-looking dildo if you're not comfortable wearing it. Examine sex positions where the receiving partner can provide the majority of the action if thrusting makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward. If you're concerned that wearing a harness would make you seem unattractive, try different styles until you find one you like, or cover the harness with a skirt or pair of pants to highlight the dildo.
Like everything involving permission, you are free to change your mind about pegging at any time. You are not required to express your partner's wishes just because they express them to you.
But I'm assuming you're here because you're interested in finding out how to accomplish this.
In light of that, the following five actions will assist you in getting ready for pegging:
1. Start Practicing Anal
Many aspiring pegging bottoms believe that going pegging will be their first anal encounter.
This is problematic for many reasons, chief among them being that it places the whole burden of effort on you, the person wearing the harness. It is unfair to both of you. Both of you will have a bad experience, someone might be harmed, and you won't feel well afterward. Let's avoid that experience, then. (I've been there; I've done it, I swear.)
Instead, start including anal penetration on your and your partner's sexual to-do list long, long, far before you ever touch a dildo or harness.
The main goal is for your spouse to get comfortable enough with anal pleasure to talk about it. We want them to understand when to slow down, when to apply more lubricant, what angles feel the best, and what is too huge. It's a good thing that regular anal play will be required for at least a few weeks! They can communicate more effectively throughout the pegging process if they can gather more mental "data" on how everything feels.
- This is likely how your anal exploration will appear:
- Around the outside of the anus with a few fingers. (First, trim your fingernails!)
- One finger is inserted into the butt.
- Two fingers are inserted into the butt.
- Depending on the eventual size of the dildo you want to use, you might eventually move to three fingers within the butt.
Those are the fundamentals. If anal play is new to you, please read the articles below as this step alone might become an article on "Anal Sex 101" in and of itself:
- Five Steps to Anal Sex Comfort for Straight Guys.
- Don't Engage in Anal Intercourse If... Plugs and Beads: An Introduction to Anal Intercourse Toys.
- Seven Anal Sex Errors You Should Avoid.
- Is Your Partner's First Anal Too Painful? Here's How to Make It Fun for Them Again.
- An Introduction to Anal Intercourse.
2. Buy Your Dildo -- And Use It With Your Hands
It's time to purchase the dildo now that your receiving partner has broad anal experience: During a pegging, you want to employ the dildo in a harness, right?
Although dildo-and-harness packages are available for convenient first-time shopping, I advise only purchasing those kits if you and your partner find the dildo and harness style appealing and you fit within their size restrictions. These kits can serve as convenient one-stop shops for pegging play, but they are also made to be entry-level kits. You might discover that non-entry-level things help you both become more at ease with the activity.
The adage "you get what you pay for" also holds for pegging devices and body-safe sex toys.
Once you have your dildo, begin using it with your hands only rather than fastening it to a harness.
Starting this way provides a few benefits:
- Anal penetration can be experienced by the receiving partner, giving them a clear sense of what feels "right" and "wrong."
- You can determine whether your dildo is too little or too large. There's a good chance the dildo won't "fit," and you'll want to try something else.
- You can find out how long it takes, how much pressure it takes, and whether you need two hands to get the dildo into your partner's butt.
- Without the additional strain of having the dildo tied to your body, you can work through all of this. It's pretty challenging to support your body weight in an uncomfortable "not-quite-sex-but-sorta-sex" position while learning all of these new skills.
Follow my advice and go the simple route so that you can concentrate on enjoying yourself when you decide to check out your harness!
Purchasing the appropriate dildo could be a stand-alone article, similar to step one. Even additional tips for your dildo-shopping endeavors can be found in these articles:
- The Long and Short of Buying your First Dildo.
- 8 Steps to Picking a Dildo that Will Rock Your World.
- Anal Sex Toys 101.
- Everything You'll Ever Need to Know About Choosing the Right Dildo for You.
- How to Use a Dildo.
3. Buy a Harness -- And Use It Solo
It's time to get a harness now that you have a dildo in mind. A basic, flamed base dildo can be used with almost any harness that has an O-ring. That is nearly all of them!
Although picking a harness is a very personal decision, I advise choosing one that you think will look hot on you and you! One of the most crucial aspects of a strap-on harness is how it feels and looks to you. If you're starting out pegging and using typical dildos, almost any dildo will fit into a regular harness, so choose what makes you happy.
After obtaining your harness, fasten it and fasten your dildo. To relieve any anxiety you may have about trying anything new for the first time, I strongly advise doing this alone, apart from your significant other. Exploring these novel feelings aside from the assumptions surrounding them may be somewhat liberating.
Please pay attention to how the harness feels the first time you wear it, and try to adjust the fit to your exact proportions. Additionally, I advise attempting the following exercises to familiarize yourself with your new equipment:
- Examine your feelings while wearing the harness while standing in front of a mirror. (Congratulations on teasing your girlfriend with sexual selfies and wearing lingerie!)
- With the dildo and a scrunched-up pillow beneath your hips, lie on the bed. To find the movements that work best for you, try humping the dildo into the pillow. From side to side? Are you grinding? Try shifting the dildo to a different area of your body after pausing. Do the feelings get better or worse as a result?
- Try to mimic the sex position as closely as you can on your own if you and your receiving partner have discussed it. Practice moving or thrusting while in the positions you want to attempt together.
Remember that many persons practicing pegs for the first time are not experienced with thrusting. You're starting from scratch, even if the majority of people with factory-installed penises have been humping and thrusting against things for some time. It's acceptable (and anticipated!) if you feel strange, and it's also acceptable if your thighs or core become too tired to continue.
Are you prepared for further assistance on your harness-shopping journey? Yes, there is also more of it!
- How to Create a Customized Strap-On Kit of Your Own.
- Desire to Purchase a Harness? Start by reading this.
- Five Things You Should Know About Harnesses and Strap-On Dildos.
- Which harness works best for a "strapless" double dildo?
4. Explore Sex Positions
One of the final components in our pegging-preparation jigsaw is your sex position.
The following sex positions complement pegging:
The Hinge Position
By placing the penetrating partner on one knee, the hinge position offers a variation on the doggy style while combining athleticism and deep penetration. Going deep is made feasible by this, which some couples adore!
Binding Spoon Position
The Binding Spoon Position is a version of the Spooning Position that provides varying degrees of contact and sensation based on where each partner positions their arms and legs.
Grand Slam Position
Because the receiving partner is facing away, the Grand Slam Position is an excellent option for pegging beginners as it can help the giver feel more at ease while learning new moves.
The Kneeling Fox Position
Because the receiving partner is facing away, the Grand Slam Position is an excellent option for pegging beginners as it can help the giver feel more at ease while learning new moves.
The Kneeling Fox Position
The thrill of a standing sex position is provided by the tabletop position, which is less demanding than many of these positions. By placing the receiving partner's knees or feet on the penetrating partner's shoulders, it also offers the chance for deeper penetration.
You see, pegging novices might not be a good fit for "standard" sex positions. This is because many couples may have different weights or heights, making it challenging for their go-tos to fit. (For instance, you won't be tall enough to consider penetration in the Open Pike sex position if your receiving partner is far taller than you.)
As a result, I advise you to "trial run" your desired sex position with your spouse. You and your receiving partner can now assume the posture, even if you are wearing clothing, since you know where the harness should fit and where the dildo should dangle.
It usually "devolves" into play when I do this with new partners, such as dry humping them in our clothing until we both get off. A little preparation, but plenty of fun? I'll accept it!
Finding out how the sex position suits both of your bodies is the goal. Can you both stay in this position for a reasonable time while moving?
Most importantly, is there adequate support in this sex position to allow for highly patient and slow penetration? You won't just be slipping in and going to town with a dildo strapped to your hips; you'll probably need to take breaks to carefully put the dildo into the receiver, just like you rehearsed when holding it in your hands.
For example, the penetrating partner is left performing an unsupported plank in the air when in the Missionary position. For most people, it is simply not feasible to hold this for minutes at a time while slowly inserting the dildo. To avoid upsetting the dildo's position, you should make sure your sex position permits you both to comfortably rest for extended patient breaks in the middle of penetration.
It's okay if you have to choose a different sex position. When you're both more comfortable with pegging and everything that it involves, your previously chosen sex position won't change and will remain in place for years to come.
5. Have a Conversation
Ideally, you have been in constant communication with your partner during this period.
But if you haven't, I want to emphasize how crucial it is that you communicate during this whole process.
Before pegging, I suggest having a candid conversation about:
- How you'll converse during the encounter. Commit to be honest with each other. Depending on how comfortable you are talking about sex, this could mean using "code words" to convey requirements in the middle of a play.
- How you're feeling about the experience. Being anxious is very normal!
- How will you ensure the harness-wearer has a great time? The harness-wearer may occasionally experience a lack of "physical sensations" even while pegging offers the receiving partner many sensations. Be sure to have a strategy.
As you can see, pegging is one of those sex acts in which the person performing the penetration probably has no feeling for the object being used. In many pegging sex positions, the person wearing your harness might not even be able to see the toy, unlike when they are hand-holding a dildo, where the holder can at least know the dildo!
Accordingly, pegging depends even more on candid communication than other forms of sex. Was the dildo dropped? Despite their best efforts, is the penetrating companion slipping deeper in? Would the penetrator be able to hit the p-spot with a minor hip tilt?
Open communication and minute-by-minute modifications are necessary for all of these things. It's a good thing, too!
Your pegging encounter has the best potential of being fantastic for both of you if you and your partner feel comfortable enough to talk!
After a conversation (or, ideally, multiple discussions), it's time for the "big day." You're prepared to try pegging as smoothly as you can!
How to Peg Your Partner
If you follow the preceding instructions, you should be ready to deliver a pegging full of success, enjoyment, and genuine pleasure.
What about the actual pegging? This is how it will go down:
- Enjoy foreplay. There is already a good deal of foreplay in the expectation, depending on how long you have been anticipating it. However, I always suggest more! Since pegging can be a low-impact physical activity for the partner wearing the harness, I particularly encourage them to experience a variety of bodily sensations.
- Put on your strap-on harness and dildo. This will be easy because you've already figured out how to wear and alter it to match your physique. You can be as taunting as you want and let the receiver watch if you feel it!
- Use your fingers (or a smaller warm-up toy!) with lube on the receiver. This can assist in preparing the body for the dildo you're strapping on. It can also look terrific to wear your pegging gear and simultaneously pierce them with another toy!
- Get into your chosen pegging position. You can now enter the sex position you have already experimented with since your partner's body is primed and prepared for more. Now that you both know it works for your bodies, the only thing left to do is include the dildo.
- Add lube. More lubricant never hurts anyone, even though your partner's butt is most likely already lubricated from the warm-up play! Squirt a ton of lubrication onto your dildo after adding more to the entrance of your bottom. You are welcome to make a show of caressing the shaft of the dildo. (You most likely didn't use enough lubricant if you don't wind up spilling some onto the bed underneath you.)
- Press the tip of the dildo against the entrance. Encourage the receiving partner to push back against the dildo rather than bending forward. They can go at their own pace because of this. It should take at least five minutes to get the dildo in; if it takes less time, you can start having fun sooner! Be highly patient so that no one is harmed.
- Apply the lightest pressure to the dildo. Use the least amount of pressure possible to force the dildo into the receiving partner if they are unable to push back or have reached the limit of how much they can make on their end. To further regulate the pressure, you can make the dildo inside by slipping a hand under the harness and going against the base. It can be challenging to regulate the amount of pressure you apply with your whole body, so avoid using your body weight as the pressure point.
- Ask for feedback. You should converse back and forth during the penetration. Even while it could sound like "Yes, deeper," or "Oh, that's good," this is the hardest part of pegging, and both parties greatly benefit from active participation!
- Start movement! You can begin once the receiving partner has gone as far down the dildo as they want to! Depending on the breadth and length of your dildo, this might not extend to the base, depending on how comfortable you are. Go where you're comfortable instead, and move significantly for you both! In addition to complete, in-and-out thrusts, they could also be grinding motions with tiny movements that press the dildo base into the clitoris or target the p-spot. It all comes down to what you like.
But that's genuinely it! You are pegging someone! You succeeded!
Pegging Sex Toys
You might think about including some sex accessories like the following as you continue to delve deeper into the world of pegging after this initial experience:
- A dildo base that makes the harness wearer happy is called BumpHer.
- You can utilize a greater variety of dildos without inadvertently thrusting too profoundly, thanks to OhNut, a penetration buffer.
- Sportsheets A sex positioning strap that facilitates the acquisition of thrusting leverage around the hips is called a "doggie style strap."
- Liberator On a Mission: A piece of sex furniture that allows the recipient to stimulate their penis without using their hands.
- Liberator Axis: A piece of sex furniture with a vibrating wand that allows the recipient to stimulate their penis or clitoral area without using their hands.
- Liberator BonBon is se furniture that enables hands-free riding of one's favorite toy. One of my favorite ways to see my receiving partner prepare for pegging is to do this!
- Strap-on-Me Flexible Vibrating Strapless Strap-on: This double-ended strap-on dildo has an adjustable design and three vibrating stimulation locations. I strongly advise using a harness when using it.
- Wild Flower Enby 2—A vibrator for the person wearing the harness.
- A harness wearer's internal vaginal vibrator is called Lovense Lush 3.
We are pegging, and these devices can assist in increasing the enjoyment (and lessen the pain!). Eschewing them for your initial peggings, though, as they can initially add a little complication.
However, if you're comfortable with them, these can be excellent approaches to enhancing your pegging play's functionality and sensation!
Conclusion
There are several reasons why pegging is a popular sex act, including the fact that it may feel and look fantastic, allowing you to play with power dynamics and leading to a whole new range of enjoyable options for both you and your partner! Planning, practice, and—above all—effective communication are necessary while getting ready to peg your partner, just as when you're doing something new.
I suggest reading these articles for further tips on how to get ready for pegging and ensure a successful experience.
