Everything You Need to Know About Attending Your First Kink Conference

A kink-filled escape from reality, kink conferences are full of fun, making new friends, learning, and, if you're into it, having sex.

Are you prepared to enhance your play party experience? A whole kinky weekend, perhaps? A kink conference can help with that. A kink conference, also known as a kink convention, is often a three-day event (or longer!) that includes numerous play parties, many social activities, and education centered around kinks! Thousands of people attend these conferences, which are held worldwide and are similar to a little kink-filled vacation from the real world!

However, let's face it: The concept of attending a kink event might be somewhat... daunting if you have never done so. I'm here to assist you! All the information required to attend your first kink convention is provided here. (Because you should certainly go if you're interested in it!)

What types of kink conferences are there?

Although all kink conferences aim to present you with a fantastic weekend (or longer!) of kinky experiences, they differ slightly in how they do so.

Some conferences may be held in a large hotel's conference room, particularly smaller ones, or just starting. This implies that non-kinky visitors might be in the hotel's other rooms. You must remain discrete throughout the hotel for these events, but once you enter the gated conference area, you can be as kinky as you like, with security making sure non-kinky people can't see you. Be particularly tactful at these kinds of gatherings. Hotels want to keep frequent guests in the dark about what's happening.

Other conferences become "hotel takeover" conferences, mainly when they grow. This indicates that the hotel is kink-friendly because the convention was big enough to guarantee that conference attendees would reserve every room! These conferences will give you more freedom and may permit nudity in most hotel parts, such as the corridors and swimming pools (typically, the restaurant or lobby is off-limits due to health rules). In full kink gear, many kinksters will make their way directly from their rooms to the conference area's dungeon. These, indeed, are a one-of-a-kind, immersive experience.

A few kink events are geared at campgrounds for individuals who want a less spoiled experience. Usually, they are sizable campgrounds where only kink-friendly individuals are permitted entry. Compared to their hotel counterparts, these conferences are typically less regimented and emphasize bonding, camaraderie, and doing new things. These kinds of kink events can be ideal for you if you enjoy camping or the "big family" atmosphere that the community can provide.

Not to be overlooked are certain kink conventions. These specialist kink conferences may concentrate on particular kinky identifications, although the majority of them focus on general BDSM as a whole (and all the kinks it encompasses). Femdomme, ABDL, pet play, erotic hypnosis, rope bondage, and other topics are covered in some of the conventions. These can be a lot of fun if you're into a particular kink.

How do I find a kink conference?

Kink conferences aren't held in every city because they're usually large. Many people may travel across the nation to attend their favorite retreats, which are intended to be weekend getaways. The closest conference maybe three to five hours away by car, depending on where you reside. (But it's well worth the effort!)

Your local BDSM community will be the best place to find your nearby kink conferences. They are often the subject of conversation, and many people will carpool. You'll probably get four or five answers if you ask a brief question about conferences.

But not everyone has a kink community in their area. If so, you should do some Google searching. A cursory glance at the conference's website will tell you whether the conference is still going, the registration fee, and the date. Some websites maintain listings of forthcoming conferences.

What are the requirements for attending a kink conference?

Compared to local play parties, many kink conferences offer more relaxed rules! Kink conferences often only need an upfront payment for registration, while local play parties typically require you to have attended a few of their non-play-focused meetings. Specific conferences might check your registration (and issue a refund if rejected) and need a connection to an active Fetlife profile. Conference organizers want everyone to enjoy themselves but also ensure that nobody is destructive or dangerous.

Everyone can attend a conference, regardless of ability level! However, it is helpful to be open-minded, love watching other people do kinky things together, and be very open to learning to make the most of your conference experience. You are welcome at kink conferences regardless of how long you have been whipping those young cubbies or how recently you have become interested in kink.

What happens at the conference?

These BDSM conferences aim to provide a three-day immersive experience that is full of kinky, adult pleasure. Although they aren't sex parties or swinger clubs, they will be packed with information that you most definitely don't discuss with the local grocery store clerk.

When you first get there, look over the schedule. You should anticipate seeing a schedule of classes held at specified times throughout the weekend. To accommodate more than 20 seminars during the weekend, many conventions will simultaneously offer three or four different courses. Therefore, be prepared to occasionally have to choose your favorite and feel disappointed that you cannot attend them all.

The programs of most kink conventions also include a few social events. They might be more general (such as a "Dominant Discussion" or "Newbie Meet-up") or just social hours to promote conversation. Additionally, there will likely be some downtime between classes and other planned activities; this will informally become social time in the common spaces.

There will typically be a vendor section at conventions as well. This area will be open at specific times and will have a variety of vendors offering, well, kinky stuff! There are larger companies that provide some of the options you may find at a sex toy store, as well as smaller companies that have just one employee producing all of their inventory. Although a lot of these businesses may accept credit, it's always a good idea to have extra cash on hand, just in case.

There are also planned play gatherings every evening. Most parties are scheduled to run for six to eight hours, typically ending at two or three in the morning. Most Kink Convention play parties enable you to come and go as you like, unlike regular parties where you have to stay, or you won't be permitted to return. Watch a few scenes, go out and talk to people, have a snack, return and do a scene, etc. Show consideration for those around you when you come and go.

Never expect to be touched without consent. This conduct is not typical of any conference. I've never experienced this at any meetings I've attended, even as a single woman. The majority of people who attend kink conventions are so amiable that they will leave their belongings in different locations and return to discover them still there. However, they also take great care to get consent and are respectful.

DO anticipate seeing people dressed in a variety of ways. There will probably be a lot of kinky stuff and nudity this weekend. Compliment your favorite attire. Put on your beautiful clothes. You may enjoy the fun of it all whether you play or not.

I'm not sure I want to go ...

Transferable or refundable registration may not be available at many kink conferences. Additionally, many conferences sell out a month or two in advance. After all, no one enjoys an overcrowded gathering, and a place can only accommodate a certain number of people. Make every effort to register as soon as you can.

Those who register for the event early typically get a preference for hotel rooms if the conference is a "hotel takeover" kind. Sign up to stay at the host hotel as soon as possible. Before registration opens, try to resolve any scheduling difficulties and make your final decision. To make it simpler to prepare to register first, the event administration of many "hotel takeover" events will announce in advance the day ticket sales will begin.

What should I bring to a kink conference?

Are you already packing your bags? I'm happy I persuaded you! Let's now discuss what you must bring.

First and foremost, you should schedule at least two outfits per day: one for the day and one for the evening. As a result of their enjoyment of dressing up, some kinksters will wear three or four different outfits every day. It's as easy as taking the elevator and changing if you stay at the host hotel, so why not? Make sure to carry additional clothes for both outfits just in case, but pack what you feel comfortable wearing. Be sure to bring clothing that is appropriate for the general public as well, particularly if the event calls for non-kink dress. You should go out to neighborhood eateries even if it doesn't, so pack family-friendly clothing!

A picture ID is required. This is often necessary for your initial registration at conferences. If privacy is an issue, you can leave it in the hotel for later nights. It also helps to have lots of cash and a credit card.

It's also a good idea to bring a pen and paper if you intend to attend any of the classes. It's true that taking notes at kink conventions requires a throwback to the 1990s; neither laptops nor cell phones are permitted.

Your toys should be the first item you pack! If you have a specific scene in mind, you should bring the toys that will enable you to complete it, but you don't have to get your full toy bag. It's better to pack light if you have a rough notion of the scene you want to do in advance. Feel free to bring what you need, but don't bring more than you can handle because some people will pull rolling baggage bags into the playrooms full of kinky devices. For a smooth flight, make sure you are aware of the fundamentals of aircraft sex toy travel.

Make sure you have all the necessary, safe sex supplies if you intend to engage in sexual activity. Regardless of your personal preferences, the majority of parties will need safe sex equipment if sexual activity is permitted. This implies that if you plan to play more intimately, you should have condoms, lubricant, gloves, and waterproof pads (dog training pads from the pet store are great!).

What should I leave behind?

Avoid bringing judgment or introversion to the meeting! Even though I know a lot of introverts who go—including myself—you'll have a lot more fun if you act like an extrovert for the weekend. There are interesting sights, amazing people to meet, and enjoyable activities. That being said, if you decide to be a wallflower, no one will be angry or harass you. All styles are generally welcome!

Additionally, try to keep your judgment at home. Some couples may engage in activities that you find entirely uninteresting. It's alright! Just try to be grateful that they have a safe place to do whatever they want, just like you do. Ask a Dungeon Monitor about any kinks that irritate you in the early hours of the celebration. They can point you toward a location where you are unlikely to see those scenes.

Your cell phone should be left in your hotel room. While in your hotel room, take as many photos as you can of your attire and the aftermath. For security purposes, most events seize any electronic devices in the area.

Do kink conferences have a dress code?

How many clothes you should bring each day has previously been briefly discussed. Following the conference's dress code is a crucial topic that we will now discuss. Is it acceptable to wear fetish clothing anywhere in the hotel? Until you reach the fetish section, will you have to hide? Plan your entire wardrobe based on the dress code; bring a trench coat or other item with a lot of coverage to assist you blend in with the conference space.

Many conferences offer educational classes during the day. You can wear whatever you want to these classes. There are plenty of folks in jeans and t-shirts, as well as those in fetish clothing with high-heeled shoes. People will be more dressed, wearing dress trousers or lovely dresses. Anything goes during educational classes as long as it doesn't violate the dress code. Remember that you will likely need to wear that outfit for the day, so choose something you feel comfortable with beforehand.

In the play area, all bets are off in the evening! You are allowed to wear your preferred fetish clothing to fit your mood at play parties. Pay attention to any minimum coverage requirements. Other than that, you are free to choose whatever suits your mood. People will arrive at the play party wearing street clothes, but kinky attire, such as black leather, is always appreciated. Wearing something sexy will put you in the correct frame of mind, even if you don't feel like dressed in kinky clothes. Aim for something sleek and sexy, at the very least.

What should I expect to see at play parties?

Conference play parties are similar to those you've attended at home but are a lot more exciting. There will be plenty of new people to play and chat with in the often enormous play areas (but be sure to find out if talking is permitted when individuals are participating in a scene). Along with the more significant event, there will typically be an excellent selection of play areas and furnishings and a more excellent range of events to see. Some events provide a late-night meal to keep your energy levels up all night.

Additionally, look for distinct spaces for various forms of play. One advantage of conferences is that they have the space, but many smaller organizations lack the space to provide multiple blocked-off sections for different games! Wet and dirty spaces, fire play areas, age play areas, pet play areas, medical/needle play areas, exhibitionist sex areas (complete with mattresses), silent rooms (without music) for playing, and more are available. The unique regions that each conference offers will differ from one another.

Additionally, many events feature two or three play parties throughout the weekend!

Can I attend a kink conference by myself?

You shouldn't ruin your fantastic weekend because you're going stag. Even if you're with someone and want a fun playmate for the weekend, most conferences will provide various opportunities to meet new people!

A "Meet and Greet" or "Newbie's Orientation" is typically held on the first night of activities. These will make it much easier to meet others at the conference who are willing to talk. They also provide a quick and straightforward approach to getting additional information about the event and to make you more at ease.

Additionally, some events include color-coded wristbands. Wearing these bracelets lets other guests know you're looking for a mate. There will typically be different wristbands for different purposes, such as a different color for topping or bottoming, a different color for just a top, and a different color for just a bottom. These wristbands will let you quickly find out if someone you've been admiring is available for play, but they won't substitute conversing and getting to know someone.

How can I document my memories?

Of course, with your brain! But I get what you're saying. After attending such a fantastic conference, bringing home some tangible mementos of your time there is enjoyable. You must take pictures of your seductive outfit in your hotel room if you want to do any photography. You can take as many images as you want in the privacy of your room, but the conference itself will not permit them. However, avoid obtaining any that prominently display the hotel you're staying at out of respect for the occasion.

To add people on Fetlife or other social media platforms, obtain their usernames when you meet them. You can stay in touch with your new acquaintances even after returning to your regular life. You can even get together again if you attend the same conference the following year!

As a keepsake of your journey, many conferences will also provide you with a name badge or other identity.

What else do I need to know?

Before attending any kink conference, make sure you have read and comprehended the regulations. Reread them after that. Every kink conference has its own set of guidelines. You should know those restrictions, particularly if you intend to engage in edge-play shenanigans.

The majority of events not only make the rules easily accessible on their website, but before you can enter the conference, you'll probably need to reread them and sign a document attesting to your understanding of them. Because of the rules, these conferences are safe for everyone.

Consider joining Fetlife and the kink convention's event group on the website if you're a little awkward approaching strangers. Most conventions include a Fetlife group dedicated to the event, including members seeking playmates, details about the merchants, opportunities to meet new people, and much more!

Should I go to another kink conference?

Most well-known kink conferences occur once a year and frequently return to the same venue. You'll probably like it the second (and third) time if you had a lovely time the first time.

However, I would always advise you to take advantage of the opportunity to attend new conferences to experience different kinds of conferences. Each conference will have specific peculiarities. At each conference, you will probably meet new people. Some may have sexual exhibitionist rooms, while others may have pools that are open to nudity.

 However, conferences can be a lot of fun and a welcome departure from the dullness of everyday life, so enjoy them as the brief getaways from everyday life that they are!