The Ultimate Guide to Giving a Girl a Handjob

Learn how to do a handjob from beginning to end that will make a female want to come back for more.

[Editor's note: We are aware that not all girls possess a vulva, and not all girls possess a vulva. We believe anyone who wants to improve their partner's mood will find these suggestions helpful!]

There's simply no better way to express giving someone with a vulva the same kind of pleasure, even if the term "handjob" is typically used to refer to stroking a penis. Fingering? Yes, you can, but that doesn't address the complexities of activating the clitoris and vulva as a whole. A decent handjob involves more than just sticking your fingers into a vagina repeatedly, as everyone with a vulva is aware.

Presenting this comprehensive guide to handjobbing a girl. Learn the entire process of giving a female a handjob that will make her cumming... and then want more.

Know Thy Partner

The fact that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to handjobs may be the most crucial thing to keep in mind. It's okay to use these strategies on someone you don't know, but remember that they may not share your ex's preferences. You'll be well on your way to giving them an orgasm unlike any other if you just talk to them about what feels wonderful to them.

If you're delivering a handjob to a female who hasn't done much masturbating on her own (for whatever reason), it can require some trial and error. They may have never explicitly discussed their sexual preferences before, and even if they have, they may not have ever needed to express what they want.

Be mindful of the power of trial and error while checking in, especially if a descriptive chat isn't working. Try a new method for a while, then ask them whether they like it (or how to improve it!). Whether they say they do, keep using that method. This can assist you in creating a mental profile of the motions and touches this female prefers, especially if you want to give her a handjob several times.

Help Make Her Comfortable

Have you ever attempted to have a four-course fine dining meal while sitting in a chair that you found uncomfortable? No? All right, so you get the idea. If all you can think about is how numb your butt is, how your left thigh is losing circulation, and how your right foot is stinging like pins and needles, it's just tough to appreciate all of the lovely flavor combinations truly.

When giving a girl a handjob, the same thing might be said. If your vulva-owning spouse is uncomfortable, it can be pretty tricky for them to relax into the experience fully. As anyone who has spent some time with Kinkly knows, "comfortable" may mean many different things to many people.

If strong lights illuminate your vulva-owning partner's entire body, it could be hard for her to unwind. Her gaze may wander to her unfinished schoolwork on the kitchen table, which she neglects. She may have just gotten out of the gym and always wonders if her scent suits this. Or simply put, the couch or bed you're lying on isn't comfortable.

As previously said, this entails "knowing thy partner." The first step is to learn about and consider your vulva-owning partner's specific preferences, but if you are unsure, don't be afraid to ask. Putting your forehead on their neck and sultrily asking, "Is there anything I can do to help you feel more at ease? I truly want you to have fun." It can be as much open communication as it is foreplay.

Use this to your advantage by preparing your area and location for giving a girl a handjob. It may seem small, but it may have a significant impact without considering your "skill" level.

Make It a Full Body Experience

Neck, lips. Stomach. Thighs. You may and should include all of these erogenous zones in your handjob! Begin by kissing them, then slide your lips down their body and to their neck. Before beginning on their vulva, incorporate your hands by softly stroking their thighs and pulling on their hair.

By creating anticipation, you can increase her arousal and, by the time you arrive, the vulva will already be flushed and sensitive (in the best possible way) to touch. Instead of making you cringe at the intensity of your first touches, this can make them feel like lightning bolts of blissful pleasure.

Another way to get the body purring while your hands are elsewhere is to use the magic of hands-free sex gadgets. While foreplay is happening elsewhere, a tiny vibrator, such as the LELO Lyla 2, can provide a great deal of pleasure.

Additionally, as many women require a great deal of foreplay to climax, it's a good idea to take your time at this point.

Build Momentum as You Go

You've gotten them turned on, learned what they enjoy (and don't like), and are now prepared to start the show. Even while it would be tempting to go straight to the clitoris and rub it as soon as you can, this is not a brilliant idea. The sensitive clitoris might become irritated by excessive stimulation, which will ruin the entire experience. Ease into the handjob instead.

By moving slowly, you'll have more time to pick up on their cues, such as their breathing patterns, areas where they wriggle with pleasure, and whether they back off a little because they're stroked uncomfortably.

Start by placing your hand on their pubic mound and softly stroking with all of your fingers to increase the momentum. Take note of the sensations in the clitoris, perineum, and inner and outer labia of the vulva. Please take advantage of this time to gradually move over their body, gather momentum, and focus on the areas that feel the best.

Find Her Pleasure Points

Every woman is different when it comes to what feels nice. Straight clitoral stimulation is enjoyable for many vulva owners, but for others, it can be excessive. Use your fingers to explore, and remember to incorporate other body areas as well; you may stimulate the stomach, butt, and inner thighs in ways that enhance the whole experience. Explore with your fingers to find out where their pleasure points are, and be curious about all the ways you may make them feel wonderful.

Don't worry about locating the locations that provide the most enjoyment. There will be hints, so you don't need to worry about it! Keep an ear out for any changes in breathing, hip tilts toward (or away from!) your motions, or moans. Look at their fingers or toes for an additional check-in. Waves of pleasure will cause many people to tense those areas.

Don't be scared to inquire if they aren't providing you with readable clues. A straightforward question like "Do you like that?" might guide you in the right direction.

Use Varying Pressure and Techniques

Alright, so here's a significant factor that many people overlook while giving a girl a handjob: repeatedly utilizing the same strokes can make it challenging to maintain their focus while also numbing their sensitivity to pleasure. Consider any ongoing stimuli in your environment. The lightbulbs are humming? The soft purr of the air conditioner? How does your garment feel on your skin? Human bodies are adept at adjusting to and disregarding continuous, static stimuli.

Change your technique, pressure, and speed to prevent that. Make light circles with your fingertips. Use your finger's entire length to rub up and down. Make good use of your knuckles to offer her vulva a variety of textures. Your fingers should roll back and forth. If they are interested in penetrating, use them to do so. Strike, rub, and tap. Do you see the image? Well done!

The only warning is to disregard this advice if they are on the verge of orgasm. Until they tell you otherwise, stick to the strategy you've discovered that's helping them reach that sweet spot.

Don't Be Afraid of Sex Toys

Consider the assistance that sex toys may offer, regardless of your level of experience, giving a girl a handjob, or your desire to continue sexing your girlfriend until you both pass out. It can be very taxing on your forearm to perform the fast-twitch muscle movements your fingers perform for different clitoral movements, and it can be annoying to have to stop working on a task before you're mentally prepared to finish it.

Instead, use a sex toy to become comfortable tag-teaming. You can get used to using it with your fingertips or switch between your touch and its touch. You can either use a sex toy with one hand and continue fingering with the other, or you can let a sex toy continue to stimulate while you rest your tired muscles.

Additionally, don't overlook how a sex toy might assist your spouse in experiencing blended orgasms. While you're busy enjoying the clitoris or vulva, a g-spot vibrator, such as the LELO Mona Wave, can remain nestled against the g-spot and stroke it for you. It can be simple to provide your lover dual stimulation if they enjoy it.

It's also important to note that, despite your best efforts, some women can only have orgasms through strong vibrations, such as those produced by the LELO Smart Wand 2. Without the power of a powerful vibrator, some people find it challenging to climax (or just cannot!) even during their private masturbation sessions. If your significant other exhibits that behavior, don't take it personally; that's how their body is constructed.

Try Different Clitoral Angles

Although the clitoris is similar to a tiny pleasure button, you shouldn't keep pushing it in the hopes of success. You must determine what works for the other individual.

Gently tug on the clitoris, stroke downward from the top, or play with its edges. Additionally, some vulva owners like the left or right side of their clitoris to feel the greatest. Deeper stimulation of the clitoris (as opposed to more concentrated stroking and pushing) can feel fantastic since it extends into the body.

Additionally, some vulva-owners experience agony when their clitoris comes into close contact with them. Instead, the unsung hero is the clitoral hood, which is the skin above the clitoris that can both stimulate the clitoris and assist in softening sensations. A downward technique that targets the clitoral hood instead of the clitoris may be the secret remedy you need if you're finding that direct contact with the clitoris makes your spouse wince.

Please don't be scared to try different things and see what suits them the best as you continue to enjoy their body! This is the way you discover unexpected, novel motions.

Penetrate ... or Don't

Some vulva owners are opposed to penetration, while others love it. However, most vulva owners agree that penetration is not enough to bring them success. This implies that even if penetration is an option, you should plan on spending some time stroking the clitoris, even if it's just by placing a bullet vibrator, such as the LELO Mia 2, on the clit.

Before you try penetration, make sure your spouse is comfortable with it. Start slowly and increase the pressure, thickness, and pace like you did during the external pleasure if they are interested. Put one finger into the vagina to begin. First, test the water. Add one or two extra fingers if they appear to like one. As you performed on her vulva, change up the pressure, depth, and speed of your fingering.

Press firmly yet gently on the vaginal front wall, two to three inches above the entrance, to activate the G-Spot. Remember to multitask here as well. You can stimulate the clitoris with your thumb if you have your index and middle fingers within your lover. If performing two movements at once is difficult, pull in your second hand or use a vibrator.

Additionally, don't overlook the condition of your fingernails. Jagged fingernails are a strict no-no, even if your lover is itching for penetration. Scrub your tongue's flat surface with your (clean!) fingertips. Rotate your wrist so that every finger angle brushes against your tongue. You may anticipate that everything that felt awkward, jagged, or somewhat spiky when you were doing this will also feel that way in the vagina. Penetration and external stimulation will feel much better if your fingernails are filed to perfect smoothness and clipped to the quick!

To lessen the chance of scratching or clawing your partner, insert cotton balls into the tips of a glove and then slide your fingers inside it if you've forgotten or this is an unplanned fingering session. You don't have to completely give up the pleasure session if your fingers are hurting you. Instead, consider switching to a sex toy!

Oh, and don't worry if she doesn't want to be entered. Just stimulating her from the outside will get her off just as well.

The Grand Finale

Remember what you've discovered about your partner's body during the entire procedure as you begin the climax process. Recall the feelings they enjoyed the best in their minds, then start employing those methods consecutively.

Apply steady, rhythmic strokes of the technique they're enjoying right now when you believe they're about to have an orgasm. Changing things around at this point will cause many women to lose the buildup, even though using different techniques throughout the handjob is fantastic. Be prepared for commands that will assist push them over the top, such as "Harder!" "Faster!" and "Not too much!" as they approach the climax.

Continue the stimulation at the precise pressure and rhythm that caused the orgasm during its initial stages. Unless instructed otherwise, you should gradually reduce the pressure you're applying as the orgasm fades.

You might continue to touch the vulva softly after the orgasm is over. You do not want to abruptly quit because they can be capable of having several orgasms. Approach carefully after an orgasm, though, as the clitoris and vulva may become more sensitive to the point of annoyance (or ask if they want more). Keep the lines of communication open to find out how your partner wants things to proceed, since while some women appreciate having numerous orgasms, many don't.

Simply being present, inquisitive, and focused on their pleasure is the most crucial aspect of giving a girl the best handjob. A small amount of focus and curiosity may make a big difference!

Final Tip: Mind the Butt

I have encouraged exploration throughout this journey and continue to do so! But pay attention to your fingertips, particularly if the person you are fingering is susceptible to UTIs.

That is, the butt is situated quite close to the vagina, and anal bacteria can cause infections if they are introduced there! Even with the best intentions, a straying finger might unintentionally contribute to spreading bacteria, and nobody wants that.

In light of this, refrain from using the hand that will be stroking the clitoris and vagina to contact the anus at all. Do your partner a favor and wash your hands quickly with soapy water before doing the handjob if you notice that you have unintentionally touched the anus. Even though the little interruption of pleasure may be annoying at the moment, they will value your concern for their physical well-being.

If you wish to incorporate anal stimulation into your handjob, think about using a specific anal toy, such as the LELO Bruno. It helps prevent your fingertips from straying into the "anal bacteria" region and provides orgasmic stimulation with almost no effort on your part (win-win!).

Use a dental dam or finger condoms to stop the transmission of bacteria, or cover your hands with gloves if your spouse is very prone to UTIs or if this is an unforeseen handjob and you are unable to wash your hands. Additionally, random household bacteria are not suitable for the vaginal flora.