Knife Play 101: A Beginner's Guide

Like moths to a flame, many of us are drawn to the more extreme aspects of BDSM because of its unique charm. The most extreme facets of the BDSM community, known as edgeplay, are the subject of even more myths and misconceptions than the wider BDSM community.

For novices, romance novels like H. D. Carlton's The Cat and Mouse Duet or Shantel Tessier's The Ritual can be a moderate introduction to edgeplay, such as knife or gunplay.

Learning as much as you can before beginning is crucial if you're interested in playing with a knife so that you can do it securely. We completed the reading, talked to the experts, and gathered all the information you need to get started to assist you in this attempt.

What is Knife Play?

Knife play is a subset of kinky play in which you use any blade—like a knife—to elicit a physical and emotional response from your partner.

Instead of cutting the skin, the blade is typically utilized to evoke excitement and anxiety.

During a knife play scene, the blade can be used to:

• Cut off any garments or ropes used for bondage.
• Tease or subdue your subordinate
• Wax removal from wax play
• Gently move the knife over the submissive's skin to tease them with sensation play.
• To help with temperature play
• Make little cuts while a scene is playing.

"Many people continue this practice because it is sufficient for an erotic charge with less risk of harm—light tracing and pressure, not breaking the skin," explains Dr Celina Criss, a licensed sex coach and Executive Director of the World Association of Sex Coaches.

Why are people into knife play? 

What about BDSM appeals to me so much?

This is a question that many of us have asked ourselves at some point. We chatted with Rose Rivera, MMED Family and Sexuality Studies and the founder of Submissive Academy, to learn more about the psychological components of this fetish.

"Knives are associated with a lot of taboo," she explains. As children, we are taught not to play with knives, and as a result, we frequently engage in prohibited sexual behaviors.

Due in part to the element of danger, knife play is a very sexy and exciting experience. However, with a partner, you know to respect your boundaries; it's managed danger. According to Rivera, a skillfully planned knife play scene might increase a partner's level of trust.

Therefore, if you're doing it in a deliberate, trustworthy manner, there may be a lot of eye contact and discussion about what you're about to do and why, and it can genuinely turn into a moment of profound connection for all parties involved. Additionally, there isn't any concern when using the trust component.

Safety First: The Non-Negotiables 

If not managed correctly, knife play alone might be hazardous. Therefore, you must be highly cautious and thorough when performing knife play sequences.

Negotiating the scene

Like with other BDSM scenarios, you will need to sit down with your partner and go over every detail of the scene. Boundaries, safe language to be used, and expectations for the scene should all be covered in the conversation. Before every scene, serious, transparent negotiation is necessary because your goals and wants are specific to knife play.

The receiver's movement throughout the scene is a crucial topic to cover during scene negotiations.

"There can be a lot of mobility on the person receiving the knife play," Rivera notes. One crucial factor is how well the individual can control their body when triggered or experiencing increased dread. And how much-restricted body movement do you desire during this specific game, scenario, or whatever you want to call it? You know, you get startled, you move, you leap, and it might be highly hazardous, so that could be a significant impact."

You should take some safety measures before and during a knife play scene and prepare the atmosphere.

Types of Knives

Given the dangers of playing with knives, you must consider the type of blade you wish to use. Small blades like a small straight-edge knife or scalpel can be an excellent starting point. The dominating or top must exercise extra caution while employing real blades to prevent injury that wasn't expressly agreed upon during scene talks.

A dull blade or even a fake blade can be used to prioritize safety, especially when you are first exploring knife play. Alternatively, you can pretend to play with a knife using safer tools.

To play with the sense of terror, Rivera recommends altering the environment "a little bit to be a little bit safer." When someone is blinded, they may see what they believe to be a knife, but in reality, what you are applying to their skin may be a toothpick. Something far less harmful, something imaginative that feels like a knife despite not being one, even though your brain interprets it as such. Thus, there is also the element of sensation.

Sterilization

Your partner's health and safety should come first while using BDSM. To lower the chance of infection, you should spend some time cleaning and sterilizing all of your tools and toys before participating in any BDSM session. Rubbing alcohol or a chlorine solution is the simplest method for cleaning your blades.

Aftercare: 

While aftercare is essential for all BDSM play, it becomes much more important while doing edgeplay. The giver/dominant is in charge of providing comfort, emotional and physical reassurance, and a source of stability in the form of aftercare because the receiver/submissive will undoubtedly feel more sensitive and vulnerable following an intense BDSM scene.

Getting Started: Basic Techniques

Performing a knife play scenario can seem intimidating at first. Playing with a partner who is familiar with the ins and outs of utilizing knives in BDSM scenes is preferable if you are new to knife play. If you're both new, you may learn the fundamentals by watching videos of knife play and reading articles (like this one), but be extremely careful.

What are some simpler methods for playing with a knife?

Playing with the psychological components of knife play is a fantastic place to start. Create tension by playing on your partner's fear. Ideally, begin slowly and increase the scene's suspense and intensity bit by bit.

Criss recommends, "Blindfolding the receiving partner and sharpening a knife in a visible location can make a situation tense and frightening. This can be very entertaining in a role-play involving intimidation or interrogation.

Intermediate and Advanced Techniques 

Depending on your level of expertise, trust, and dedication to your partner, you may be more daring and wish to try more intricate knife-play techniques.

Blood Play

In certain situations, you might very carefully consider slitting the receiving partner's skin and causing them to bleed. Any sexual action involving blood is referred to as "blood play," which is a more sophisticated version of knife play. Although knife play and blood play are related, blood play is not usually about slicing flesh and spitting blood. Smearing tiny quantities of blood on your skin or even having intercourse while menstruating are examples of blood play.

Cutting and carving are two of the more complex forms of knife play. But you must exercise greater caution.

Rivera notes, "In terms of what's underneath the skin, you wouldn't be breaking into anything major." And for those kinds of things, you would want the cut to be as shallow as possible. Additionally, it's clear that you're beginning—you're beginning and ending modestly. A significant cut is something you would never want to do. But even a pinprick starting point, as you mentioned.

Although this more dangerous kind of knife play might be exciting, knowing how to wield a knife securely is important. When utilizing a knife, the individual with the blade should learn how to use it or, better yet, seek guidance and coaching from someone with more experience.

Dr Criss says, "It cannot be overstated: know exactly what you plan to do, how to do it safely, and what to do if something goes wrong." She reiterates the importance of "negotiating thoroughly with your partner before engaging in this sort of play; learn from someone with experience if possible. " If you are cutting, make sure both partners are aware of the potential risks involved and that you have up-to-date medical information and hygiene guidelines.

Impact play and bondage

You can carefully incorporate impact play and bondage into a knife play scene if you and your partner or partners enjoy these activities.

You might switch up your sensation play by alternating slapping them with a paddle and using the blade on their skin. For light impact, you could use a dull blade.

While the recipient is bound, you could play with knives, but make sure you can swiftly free them if something goes wrong during the scene. When doing knife play, stay away from intricate bondage positions unless you and your partner or partners are skilled in both bondage and knife play.

Mental Health Considerations

Even though knife play frequently entails intimidation and dread, "this practice can also offer intimacy, focus, release, tenderness, and bonding." According to Dr Criss, it all relies on what the partners decide to build in their joint practice.

Knife play, however, can also trigger memories of past trauma for both the provider and the recipient.

According to Rivera, "playing with a knife can trigger things in your partner that you don't know about their past." "Abuse may occur. Since knives and other hazardous weapons can be somewhat combined, there may have been other traumatic incidents involving more than simply knives. Therefore, if there has been gun violence in the past, your spouse may experience similar traumas from a knife. Thus, ascertain the possible causes of their desire to play with knives and any unpleasant feelings or memories that may be evoked.

Knife play, however, may be therapeutic for trauma survivors. According to a 2021 study, kink and BDSM helped abuse survivors actively heal and rediscover their agency and power.

Nevertheless, it is preferable to look for expert assistance. Among the resources you can consult are:

• Improved Health
• The American Trauma Society
• America's Mental Health

The Bottom Line 

One of the more seductive and titillating BDSM techniques is knife play. Your companion will undoubtedly be dripping and wanting more from the act, regardless of whether you're going for a more delicate approach by light tracing or cutting.

Safety comes foremost in all BDSM plays. You must exercise caution and get your partner's permission before performing any actions during the scene.