Is Virtual Sex Real Sex?

When we let go of arbitrary definitions, we are left to some extent to define ourselves. This implies that you must determine what is "real" (and correct) for you.

Sexual connections can be made in a variety of ways. Sexual connections can be made in a variety of ways. Things may get sultry without ever touching your lover, whether it's through texting, phone sex, cyber sex, or the new long-distance controlling gadget fad.

Can we have sex virtually?

First Things First: What Is Virtual Sex?

Sexual activity that involves individuals exchanging sexually explicit texts, images, or other communications via a network is known as virtual sex. It can take many different shapes. It could be a computer or a phone. Virtual sex includes using a Webcam, sexting, phone sex, and cybersex. A new degree of engagement has been given to virtual sex by recent developments in teledildonics or computer-controlled sex gadgets.

Participants in virtual sex can have sex with partners who are geographically separated. For those who want to have sex but are worried about the health dangers of having several partners, it offers a safe alternative.

So, Virtual Sex Isn't Real Sex?

Not so quick. What exactly is "real sex?" after all. Too frequently, the concept of "real sex" reverts to the belief that the only acceptable way to "go all the way" is to engage in vaginal sex with the penis. This is a rather restrictive definition of sex. First of all, it informs us that only heterosexual couples are permitted to have sex. It also restricts sex to discussing body components. It suggests an encounter is invalid if the "correct" body parts are absent. This invalidates any human experience that involves anything other than heteronormative penis-to-vaginal contact. According to this notion, gay couples never engage in "real sex." According to this construct, couples who choose not to have sex despite their love for one another also do not have a "real" bond.

This is a ridiculous idea.

So, Virtual Sex Is Real Sex?

How can we define what constitutes "real sex?" given all the complications involved? What constitutes a sexually intimate relationship? People, get ready. This will rock your world:

"Real sex" is whatever feels real for you.

Yes, exactly. There isn't a clear-cut definition of "real sex." A carefree one-night stand for one person can be an incredibly intimate and linked experience for another. According to this reasoning, a couple can have long-distance sex that is just as incredibly hot and intimate as if they were spending every night in each other's arms by using virtual sex. Similarly, another couple might spend a few peaceful hours before bedtime engaging in virtual intercourse with a stranger. The participants' intentions determine how intimate the experience is. Every sexual experience is legitimate.

Hold on, what? So, how can we find out the rules? What "counts" as cheating, and how can we know?

Get Real About Sex (Even the Virtual Kind)

You must talk to your partners about it and establish for yourself what constitutes cheating. When we let go of arbitrary definitions, we are left to do some of the defining for ourselves. You must, therefore, choose what you and your partner believe to be "cheating" in your relationship, what you can do and still feel casual, and what seems "real" (and right) to you.

Therefore, you two need to talk about it if you feel that you might have a sexual encounter with someone, and it would mean nothing, but your spouse feels that it would be a breach of your partnership. Virtual sex might be OK. Sexting might be acceptable, but nothing else. Perhaps it is best for your relationship if you don't engage in any sexual activities outside. You get to figure things out together, and you have a ton of alternatives and methods to do it.

This is drastically different from how most of us were trained to function. The majority of us were taught that there is a universally accepted "right" and "wrong" and that these concepts are well-defined. In terms of relationships and sex, this is incredibly restrictive. This results in many people adhering to rules that don't align with their emotions.

All this uncertainty and worry about what is "real" or not disappears when you are clear about your boundaries and express them to your partners. After that, you can concentrate on savoring the current sexual encounter.

That's the point.