I'm a married man with a growing anal fetish. How can I satisfy it if my wife isn't interested?

We appreciate your contacting us with this query. I am aware that discussing it can be delicate. I'll try to answer your question in sequence because you raised many significant concerns.

First of all, it sounds like you're passing judgment when you call the fetish "growing too fast." It's crucial to understand that there are numerous ways for bodies to experience pleasure, and I believe each one should be honored as long as no harm is done to oneself. Particularly for those who have prostates, the anal region is extremely sensitive. There is a lot of enjoyment to be gained, but it's crucial to learn how to do it safely.

You claim to create your toys. This could be hazardous depending on how and what you're producing them from. The process of creating a safe anal toy involves many factors. (And everyday reports of anal play gone awry from the emergency room, such as people losing toys within their bodies.)

Anal play toys ought to have a broad, flared base that is impossible for your body to suck. Additionally, they must be composed of a completely sanitizable and body-safe substance. An excellent place to start is with silicone dildos and toys designed for prostate play, such as those from Aneros, which come in various sizes and designs. The book The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure has more details. Along with anatomy facts, it also offers safety and toy advice.

It's essential to take into account the hazards associated with enemas. While the occasional enema might be enjoyable, excessive use can lead to several issues. If you're not careful, the nozzle may be harsh and rip or damaged. Additionally, you must carefully select the enema solution. Some may irritate the colon's lining, particularly if used frequently.

Your body can absorb whatever enema solution you employ since the lining of the colon and rectum is so permeable. Therefore, you must be careful not to upset your body's electrolyte balance. Frequent enemas may also hamper your body's capacity to process nutrients. Additionally, enemas might harm the colon's muscles, impairing the intestines' ability to remove waste from your body.

Finally, you and your wife need to focus on your relationship. Although there are a variety of reasons why people continue to live in sexless marriages, I believe that in the end, this is unsustainable and harmful to the well-being of one or both parties. When sex stops occurring in partnerships without consent from both partners, several interpersonal and personal issues may surface. At the individual level, this change may result in sexual issues, fear, worry, despair, and a weakened sense of self. According to sex therapist Angie Gunn, "forced celibacy at the relationship level breeds resentment, tension, and withdrawal from other areas of potential connection and relationship growth."

For some of these problems, it may be best to get expert help—either a sex positive therapist or a sex coach like me.

Stay safe and good luck!