I Wasn't Into Bondage Until the First Time I Was Tied Up

Being open to exploring new kinks can have unexpected and perhaps amazing results, provided there are no rigid limits.

Kinksters frequently hear the great advice to identify your partner's kinks before playing and to avoid doing kinky things you don't want to do. All of that is accurate, but we don't usually discuss topics that don't interest us yet don't have strict boundaries. That was bondage to me. I thought, "Meh," but my girlfriend thought it was great. I wanted his enjoyment, so I decided to give it a try. But what I learned about bondage and our relationship made me want to continue doing it.

I Don't Hate It, But ... Meh

I shrugged when my boyfriend initially said he wanted to tie me up. "I don't think it's my thing," I told the second time. I didn't like that I couldn't move. I was concerned about the cut-off circulation and purple limbs I had seen in porn. When I'm being frank with myself, I'm afraid I'll feel more helpless or stuck than I can manage.

However, I did not have the visceral, instantaneous shivering reaction that I usually get when someone brings up topics that I have a hard limit on, such as blood, pee, excrement, or needles. (As usual, it's not for me, but if you're into it, great.)

Bondage and restraint, however, did not pique my interest. Certain types of ropes or cuffs didn't concern me. I didn't listen when my partner discussed various relationships or shared books he had read. Alright, I dozed off and stared off into the horizon. There were a ton of other enjoyable activities to attempt. My ass was sunk! Get some orgasms! Take my hair! Slap my face and call me your dirty little slut! However, bondage? Well, eh.

In any relationship, doing things with your partner that you don't particularly want to do is not unusual. I do not mean in a manipulative or non-consensual manner. It was different with bondage. My goal as his subordinate was to win his approval. I wanted him to have what he wanted. Why not attempt it, as long as I could trust him to do what I wanted and halt the play if needed?

Being Tied Up for the First Time

When I eventually consented to test bondage, I was there. Did the fact that he chose a gorgeous, vivid blue rope that felt incredibly silky to the touch help? It did, of course. D/s was supposed to happen by luring my assent with the promise of something pleasurable. Taking my consent for granted is, at best, problematic and, at worst, abusive. Ultimately, he yearned for the rigger role, and I was open to trying anything that wasn't a strict boundary. I wanted him to have that moment as his obedient and loving partner.

I felt uncomfortable for the first few minutes. I had no idea what I was meant to do. He unfolded the rope and positioned it. He put me in a position where I soon realized my role was to stand still. This was challenging. I moved my weight from one foot to the other. I swung my arms at my sides. Heat gathered between my thighs as he gave me a warning slap. I shuddered with longing as his hands moved over my body, his fingers glinting off the delicate skin around my breasts or between my legs. Yes, this would be alright, I thought.

He made enigmatic patterns with the rope as he twisted it around my body. Every rope pass made the previous one tighter. It wasn't too much to handle. It was almost like an embrace. I felt more secure the more rope that went this way and that. I wasn't only unable to fidget now and didn't want to. I felt small and under control, his toy to play with, his clay to shape, between the pulsing in my clitoris, the tightening of my nipples, and the rigidity of being tied. I liked the sensation because it was related to our D/s and the sensuality of the situation.

How Bondage Factors Into Our Relationship Now

Any form of bondage was unquestionably not a hard limit after that initial encounter. I was amazed by the short-lived scars on my skin and how the air caressed my red flesh once he freed me. I felt more nude than ever once I was liberated. Did all the kinky play I adore and hard fucking mark the end of the moment? Yes, primarily due to a shared intimacy between the rope bunny and the rigger, but also partly as a reward for being open to trying something new. I may not request bondage even now, but when he says, "I want to try this new tie!" I'm a lot more excited.

I still have trouble staying still since I'm a lively, giggly baby girl. The scathing slaps I get until I calm down are part of the thrill. Allowing myself to be the object of my dominant's pleasure, even when it does little for me, delights me on a deeper level because I am a submissive who wants to please him. As the woman who enjoys being tormented, fucked, and turned on, I also know that every time he "accidentally" touches my nipple or brushes my labia with his hand, it's not just a part of the bondage scenario but also a sign of what will happen once I'm freed, and occasionally even before.

In general, and in our relationship specifically, bondage is more than simply rope. Being confined, whether it is to the bed as he induces orgasms from my body or in a hogtie with leather cuffs, is just another way to be submissive and eliminate any sense of power. At first, it frightened me. I now look forward to it since our trust has increased. Although he employs different toys and gadgets, the outcome is always the same. We take pride in our distinct aspect of a visceral power dynamic.

Lessons Learned About Letting Go

Being open to attempting new kinks with a trusted partner can have unexpected and even excellent results, provided there are no strict limits. If I had a positive experience the first time, I'm more inclined to try it the next time I hear about a kink and say, "Meh." Will there always be a fantastic experience and a fresh approach to play at the end? Not at all, yet being receptive to new experiences can lead you to unexpected areas. I'm relieved that the location was found to be under bondage.