How to Tie Bondage Knots: A Guide for Beginners
Learning the overhand knot, square knot, half-hitch, and two larks' head variations can expose you to almost infinite rope bondage scenes. Before participating, always take precautions to reduce the inherent safety concerns associated with rope bondage.
You want to work as a rigger, then? Or a rope rabbit, perhaps?
Or, you don't know what any of those terms signify, but you're ready to learn. We've got you, anyway.
To help you realize your fantasies of bondage, Kinkly spoke with Lazarus Redmayne, the creator of TheDuchy.com. Since 2000, TheDuchy.com has been educating people worldwide about rope bondage.
This is what we discovered:
Rope Bondage Safety
There isn't any real bondage involved in the first phase of trying bondage.
According to Redmayne, tying someone up for mutual enjoyment and pleasure can be an incredible and exhilarating experience, in addition to being really attractive. However, tying someone up is dangerous. You risk pinching nerves or affecting blood flow if you do it incorrectly.
There are ways to reduce the risk associated with bondage play, but it cannot be eliminated. These consist of:
1. Don't Tie Too Tight
As with a dog's collar, the general guideline in rope bondage is to ensure that you can still get one or two fingers between the rope and the body part of the rope bunny.
Before tying them up, examine the color and temperature of your bottom's hands. In this manner, you'll know to loosen the knots if you observe any changes while playing.
You might wish to knot wrists last because, in a bondage scene, hands are typically the first body part to lose circulation.
2. Tie Non-Collapsing Cuffs
Knots known as "non-collapsing" cuffs do not tighten when pulled. The "collapsing" cuffs, however, do.
If you are a novice, you should only do non-collapsing knots. Why? According to Redmayne, "[A collapsing] loop will get tighter and tighter as you play and they'struggle' and pull on that rope." In time, it may compress the blood vessels and nerves, particularly in extremely delicate or sensitive areas, such as the shoulders, wrists, and arms. If the compression is severe enough, nerve injury can occur in seconds and heal over several months.
3. Remove Jewelry and Watches
This can lessen the chance of a rope becoming tangled and hurting someone.
4. Communicate
Make sure the rope bunny isn't experiencing numbness or claustrophobia by checking in with them throughout play.
If they are, undo them entirely or weaken the knots.
5. Keep Care Items Handy
Heavy-duty safety scissors should be kept close in case you need to cut the rope bunny off the ties entirely (body parts cannot be replaced, but rope can).
Additionally, Redmayne advises you to ensure everyone has just consumed a light meal and is properly hydrated (had a glass of water recently).
Bondage play also involves aftercare; having drinks, snacks, comfortable clothing, and anything else you need nearby is a good idea.
6. Get Consent and Negotiate
We wouldn't say it if it were obvious. For any bondage (or play in general), informed and passionate consent is a prerequisite!
Consent and BDSM negotiating go hand in hand. This should involve discussing topics such as:
- Which body parts does the rope bunny like to draw attention to, or not?
- Any bodily parts that make you feel ecstatic.
- Any impairments or injuries that could prevent bondage play. For instance, Redmayne advises, "If someone has diabetes, be sure to find out where they keep their management tools and what they use if their [blood sugar levels] start to drop." Deciding on a safe word and/or alternative means of communication in case the bottom breaks free.
Knowing too much about your partner's body and requirements is impossible.
Here are the four knots that every novice should be able to tie:
The Overhand Knot
Most likely, you are already proficient in tying an overhand knot. The steps are as follows:
- To create a loop, take a rope end and cross the tail over or under.
- Pass the tail of the rope through the loop.
- Tighten it up.
Overhand knots have several applications in rope bondage, such as:
- Preventing the rope's end from fraying.
- Preventing a rope from passing through a pulley or harness.
- Holding two rope ends next to each other.
- Marking off the "bight," or the portion of rope that you do not want to cross over itself.
However, overhand knots can become more difficult to untie and tighten when put under tension. Redmayne advises against using them on ties that will be yanked on frequently or that you plan to leave in place for the session. Additionally, he emphasizes that because overhand knots weaken rope, they should never be used in scenarios where the rope may support a person's weight, like while performing a suspension.
The Square Knot
You can tie a square knot if you know how to tie a shoe.
In essence, a square knot comprises two overhand knots that overlap. Its primary purpose is to join two rope ends approaching one another from opposite ends. To secure it:
- To make an overhand knot, cross the rope's right end over and then under the left end.
- Oppositely, make an overhand knot by crossing the left end of the rope over and under the right.
It's crucial to alternate which end of the rope goes on top between the two overhand knots while tying a square knot; do not tie right over left, then right over left, or do tie right over left, then left over right. Attempting the latter will result in a less secure Granny knot.
According to Redmayne, square knots are most frequently used to connect two ends of rope, such as "tying off" or "locking off" a completed bondage tie, and while extending rope. This type of knot, however, may be prone to capsizing, or changing into a different shape than planned, and unraveling. Additionally, it may malfunction in the other direction and become challenging to untie. Therefore, even while it's a fantastic starting point, more complex knots, such as a surgeon's knot, may be needed for more complex bondage sequences.
The Half-Hitch
A half-hitch knot is often used to secure a portion of a tie or fasten a rope's tail to a rigid object, such as a bedpost or chair. Redmayne states that it "should never be used directly on a human and should not be used to anchor a suspension" since it is a collapsing knot, meaning it will tighten under tension.
Half-hitches can be used to attach your partner to a hard point:
- To get the length you want, grab the tail of your rope and drag it through or around the hard point.
- Put your fingers between the taught length of the rope that is fastened to your partner's body and the dangling tail.
- Hold it with your middle and index fingers by wrapping the tail around.
- Pull the tension down to keep the loop open, and use your index and middle fingers to feed the tail through the whole loop you just made.
- Apply pressure to the area where the rope encircles the hard point with your other hand while maintaining strain on the tail.
- To tighten the knot, rapidly draw the tail towards the hard point while keeping pressure on the area where the rope and hard point meet.
- To fix the bind and make a double half-hitch, repeat steps two through six.
The Lark's Head
Two extremely popular ties start with the Lark's Head knot:
- Ties in a single column.
- Ties with two columns.
Redmayne distinguishes between the categories in this way:
"A single loop of rope around one or more objects, such as a wrist, ankle, thigh, waist, two wrists but inside one loop, etc., is referred to as a "single-column." Placing two objects inside a loop and then tightening the loop around both of them so that each is inside its own cuff is known as "double-columning."
The Lark's Head Single-Column
Many more complex rope techniques are based on the lark's head single column tie. The entire procedure is demonstrated in the video above, but if you would rather view images and text, check out the complete Lark's Head Single Column instruction on TheDuchy.com.
A lark's head single-column tie can be used to build a makeshift cuff around your partner's torso or to secure a cuff to a hard object, such as a bedpost. Always keep Safety in mind; wrist joints are more prone to losing circulation or breaking than you imagine. Don't bind your partner too tightly, use non-chafing rope, and avoid placing strain on their wrists.
The Lark's Head Double-Column
Similar to the single-column style, a lark's head double-column tie is made with an additional cinch in the center. For a thorough tutorial, view the video above or Redmayne's complete Lark's Head Double Column tutorial with text and images on TheDuchy.com.
If you wish to experiment with suspensions, the lark's head double-column tie can be changed to a load-bearing variant. But, as you can imagine, wrist joints are very delicate; therefore, you should never hang someone by their wrists.
There you have it! You have a strong basis to do countless bondage situations with just these four knots. Redmayne provides a complimentary "Rope 101" course on TheDuchy.com for ideas and thorough instructions on additional ties.
Bondage Mistakes to Avoid
According to Redmayne, the most frequent errors people make when tying bondage knots for the first time are as follows:
1. Skipping Safety
According to Redmayne, people may pass over or ignore learning about Safety because they are thrilled by the potential. When this occurs, they have no idea what the hazards are, let alone how to reduce them. This condition is quite risky. A respectable rope instructor will emphasize these concepts in any introductory or "101" lesson.
(Scroll up for some basic bondage safety tips to get you started!)
2. Not Learning How to Handle Rope Smoothly
The rigger who ties the rope determines its usefulness. Redmayne advises acquiring fundamental rope handling skills in addition to basic knots.
If you take the time to learn how to control and manipulate rope, you will be less likely to make amateur errors like giving your partner rope burns or inadvertently slapping them in the face with flapping rope ends.
3. Choosing the Wrong Kind of Rope
Typically, people will pick up any rope they have lying around or purchase a coil of whatever strikes their attention at a nearby hardware or home improvement store, according to Redmayne. However, that may be a surefire way to get hurt.
For this kind of activity, a conditioned bondage rope is made especially. It is easier to knot and will be kinder to your skin. Although it may cost more than standard all-purpose rope, Redmayne suggests "...a smoother rope, cotton, for example, or linen, perhaps a synthetic like nylon or MFP (multi-filament polypropylene) if you can afford it."
4. Not Absorbing Nuance
It takes more than just getting married in the correct order to be a good top. It also concerns how you handle rope in general and how you tie it.
In addition to teaching you how to make a specific tie, a skilled rope instructor will also teach you how to move the rope around your partner safely and efficiently. They will demonstrate how to "use your finger to reach under a rope strap, hook the tail, and pull it through." "But most people don't see that nuance when they're first starting; they just see 'get the tail under the strap of rope,'" Redmayne added.
Make sure you consider the technique as much as you do the ties while learning how to tie bondage knots.
Rope Bondage Sex Positions
You are now prepared to put these ties into practice. Do you need some inspiration? Try one of these positions for bondage sex:
The Spread Eagle Bondage Position
One partner's wrists and ankles are tied to the bed's four corners in the Spread Eagle Bondage Position. This can be accomplished by securing the tails to the bed posts with two half-hitches and cuffing your partner's wrists and ankles with a lark's head single-column tie (be careful when tying wrists!).
In this position, the person being restrained can lie face-up or face-down; however, if they are face-down, you need to ensure that protections are in place to allow them to breathe. Furthermore, there is a higher chance of circulation loss here because the rope bunny's hands are above their heart. Remember our safety advice: Let them go if they're feeling numb!
The Spread Eagle Position can be excellent for clitoral, G-spot, or prostate stimulation because it exposes the entire body. Additionally, it's an excellent approach to developing vulnerability. The use of devices like blindfolds or gags might increase such susceptibility. Ensure you set up nonverbal communication during play if any of your accessories prevent the bottom from speaking.
The Frogtie Bondage Position
Tying a person's thigh to their ankle is known as the "Frogtie," a standard bondage position. A lark's head double-column tie can help you accomplish it.
You decide what to do after your spouse is tied in this position! There are several uses for the Frogtie Bondage Position. To increase the level of bondage, you may use another lark's head double-column tie to tie your partner's arms behind them, as shown in the picture. Additionally, you may flip the tied partner over to create a doggy-style sex position, perform oral sex to them, or penetrate them anally or vaginally. Ensure the bound partner is on a soft surface if you choose the last option to avoid overstressing their knees.
The Leapfrog Bondage Position
Another method to improve doggy-style sex is the Leapfrog Bondage Position. It's also a fantastic posture for the majority of anal play because of how exposed it leaves the anus.
Knot your partner's wrists to their ankles using a lark's head double-column knot to create the Leapfrog Bondage Position. When tying wrists, as usual, proceed with great caution because these joints are prone to sprains and fractures and have numerous blood vessels. Depending on their flexibility, you can position your partner's arms on the inner or outside of their thighs.
The Leapfrog Bondage Position is just as hazardous for the bound spouse as the Spread Eagle Bondage Position. Blindfolds and/or gagging can intensify this sensation, but if your accessories impede your partner's speech, set up safe signals beforehand.
The Armbinder Gag Bondage Position
Because it doesn't demand a lot of flexibility and still permits the bound partner to move their lower body freely, the Armbinder Gag Bondage Position is an excellent starting place for learning rope bondage. As seen in the picture, you might choose to add intimacy by using a gag or other sensuous object (keep in mind your nonverbal safewords!).
Put your bottom's arms over their head and tie them together with a lark's head double-column tie to get into this position. If you have extra rope, use two half-hitches to fasten it to a hard point.
Conclusion
Before our departure, Redmayne stressed that, when done correctly, bondage can be a pleasurable, safe, healthy, and sex-enhancing activity.
According to him, millions worldwide are involved in rope, sometimes for the art itself and other times for other reasons. Discover your community—there are more real-world and local possibilities than you might think, but there is also a vibrant online community. Look for others, pick their brains, and explore!
