How to Plan a Gang Bang

Group sex can be intimidating because of all the moving pieces and logistics. However, it need not be.

Group sex, often known as gang bang, is a pretty standard fantasy. The "one is fun, but two (or more) is better" dilemma is essentially addressed by the concept of one person having intercourse with several individuals simultaneously or one after the other (consensually, of course). It means that several penis-havers are penetrating a vagina-haver in heteronormative language.

A penis-haver has sex with different vagina-havers in a reverse gang bang. You don't need penises to experience penetration, but a gang bang is a sign of it. Additionally, a group of people using strap-ons will function flawlessly. An orgie, in which one person is typically the focal point from which other participants radiate, is not the same as a gang bang.

Indeed, according to a 2014 study by University of Montreal researchers, 28.3% of women asked said they had fantasies about having sex with "more than three people, all men."

According to a 2014 study by University of Montreal researchers, 28.3% of women asked said they had fantasies about having sex with more than three males.

However, having a gang bang fantasy and planning and carrying it out are very different things. Pure carnal pandemonium is what it may seem like, and it can be. There is no official guidebook for us sexual outliers who might want anything that deviates from the usual, and there is a lot of work involved in pulling off a threesome, foursome, or moresome.

"A senior, mature member of the Kink community is typically hired to coach and supervise the first few to train you in safe practices if you have never led a gangbang fantasy before," explains licensed LMFT Katie Ziskind.

Even though pleasure is stigmatized in society, let alone the highly taboo idea of a gang bang, these kinds of activities can be a fantastic way to expand your sexual exploration. Here are some things to consider if you want to throw an amateur gang party.

Curate Your Guest List

Don't forget to take into account your guests' sexual preferences in addition to the gender ratio. If at all feasible, choose friends who identify as heteroflexible because too many guys can confuse the heteronormative people. The group tends to grow more down the more women there are in the mix. It all comes down to assembling the appropriate individuals.

Set Ground Rules

Establishing ground rules and ensuring everyone agrees is crucial before your event. One method is to become familiar with the laws posted at sex clubs and modify them to fit your event's requirements. Conduct, attire, drug and/or alcohol use, safer sex practices, and communication advice are a few things to think about.

Ziskind advises having a formal contract signed by all participants before engaging in BDSM or any other sexual fantasy. "This contract will outline the specifics of the event, including what is and is not acceptable, areas that can be touched, what everyone will wear, the duration of the event, and the rules, including how dominant and submissive each party will be," Ziskind explains. "In essence, since everyone is in agreement from the start, this document protects everyone."

Individuals may consider personal norms and boundaries in addition to the group dynamic. Boundaries and rules will help make sure that everyone feels safe.

Discuss Expectations

Controlling expectations before engaging in any group sex activity is essential. A porn scene is not to be expected. Above all, it's acceptable if nothing occurs. Even the best-laid plans can occasionally be wrecked by stage anxiety. It's alright. If you're in a relationship, make sure that everyone understands and communicates your boundaries before anyone gets nude.

Have an Open Mind

In a group sex situation, it's critical to maintain an open mind. You'll probably be engaging in very personal interactions with people of different genders, sexual orientations, and tastes. Respect is a must. You should consider not participating if you don't think you can manage a wide range of people and ways of enjoyment. Nevertheless, you can learn something new about your sexuality by being open to different people and perspectives.

Practice Enthusiastic Consent

Consent is necessary. Even if you may be familiar with all of your partner's peculiarities and behaviors, it is crucial to get a passionate, verbal "yes" whenever you engage in any activity that involves touch or sex. A lot can be lost in translation, and no one can read minds. All sexual activities must be addressed and decided upon, either beforehand or on the spot, particularly if guests intend to imbibe.

Keep It Safe

STIs are becoming more common. This should encourage you to make wise choices regarding safer sexual encounters. Discussions regarding how protection will be managed, such as confirming current STI status and utilizing condoms and dental dams during play, should take place beforehand. Having lubrication on hand is usually a good idea, but bear in mind that silicone lube doesn't necessarily prolong the life of your favorite sex toy, and most massage oils and oil-based lubes will degrade the quality of latex. Don't forget to bring the birth control method of your choice.

Communicate

I can't stress this enough: communication is crucial and sexy, especially during a sex party. Permission must be obtained before touching someone or performing a specific sex act on them.  

In the moment, jealousy may also surface. Speaking up when something doesn't feel right is the best way to be present. Just recognizing those emotions can make it easier for you to feel pleasure, but it might not be a deal breaker. Gang bangs and group sex can be awkward, especially for newcomers, but they can strengthen a relationship if you and your partner have the same goals.

Process the Experience

As with any significant sexual experience, examining the emotions and feelings that follow the play is critical. After you've had time to release your breath and recover from the powerful adrenaline rush, consider the experience more subjectively. What appealed to you? Not in the same way? What do you wish to learn more about? If you're in a relationship, this can be a great chance to discuss any feelings that may have surfaced during the gang bang with your significant other.

Above all? Enjoy yourself, stay safe, talk to others, and exercise consent. Throwing a gang bang can be intimidating, given all the logistical and (literal) moving components. However, with careful preparation and safety precautions, group sex may be an exciting experience, just like most sex acts. So, proceed. Enjoy every moment of the (repeated) pleasure. Right behind you is me.