Tips for Having Awesome – and Pain-Free – Hand Sex

These suggestions for reducing the discomfort of manual stimulation can help you bid agony farewell and begin to embrace pleasure.

"Hold your hand still and stiff on the head of a penis and rotate as if you're opening a tight jar" was one of the first handjob tips I ever read. With each syllable, my fingers constricted sympathetically, and my wrist bones broke as I read this. How could I be a good lover without my small, feeble, and prone-to-inflammation hands? The criteria for pussy-pleasuring sounded less severe, but why do the "experts" appear to think that doing sophisticated finger work is more vital than connecting with a partner and smiling—not grimacing—during the process?

For a good reason, hand sex—whether it takes the form of fingering, fisting, jerking someone off, giving a handjob, etc.—is an everyday sexual activity. No bed is necessary so that you can take it anywhere. It's a lot of fun! Depending on the time and desire, hand sex can be foreplay or stand-alone. STI transmission chances are significantly lower than with other sexual activities, and there is no fluid interaction. You don't even need to remove everything you're wearing. The best pack-and-go sex activity is this one. It's also enjoyable to give hand sex.

Your hands are among the most nerve-rich areas of your body, barring nerve injury, and they are also incredibly flexible.

Regretfully, hands don't always function as they should. For instance, carpal tunnel syndrome, which affects about 3% of Americans, is just one of several illnesses and traumas that can result in hand pain, numbness, or decreased hand movement. We need to change the way we think about hand sex.

Hand Sex, Revisited

So, how can we accomplish that? In my opinion, we should look at hand sex from the giver's point of view as something we may appreciate deeply and grow into a personal skill based on our bodies and wants. Therefore, don't worry too much about your ability to do the shuttlecock, which, from what I understand, entails waggling a penis between your hands while holding it like a clarinet. Don't stress over your ability to do the Swirl, the Anvil, or the Milker. Feel free to discard your "ten steps to giving a handjob." They won't tell you what your spouse enjoys, and they're also generally not going to be that understanding. Depending on your body's capabilities, your partner's preferences, and what you find attractive, you can create your hand sex technique. A few resources to help you get started with that are as follows:

Talk…or Write…or Sign…or Morse Code

Talk to your spouse about what you need and want, and ask them to do the same. Find out what they enjoy. Proceed to play if they respond with "Surprise me" or "whatever you want to do is fine," but try posing some yes-or-no questions, such as "Do you want lube?" "Do you like it hard or soft?" "Is this good?" or "How about this?" Getting feedback from someone you don't know will make you enjoy yourself more. Tell them what you can do, too. Your hands' special manner of working can be a fantastic fit for someone else's body. Eli Clare, a poet with cerebral palsy, talks about how he felt the tremors in his hands when he stroked his lover's body and realized that they were excited rather than put off.

Ergonomics Isn't Just For Your Desk Chair

Most of you won't be engaging in hand sex for eight or more hours every day unless it's your work. However, adhering to ergonomic principles works very well for sex if you want to prevent injuries or treat existing injuries or diseases. Consider your posture and ensure that you are at ease. It can have a significant impact!

Change It Up

Finding what works and sticking with it is what many hand-sex guidelines advise. This doesn't help with hand discomfort. However, it might be fantastic for orgasms. Even if you enjoy having sex, joint or nerve pain may indicate issues that could cause irreversible harm. Not even excellent sex is worth that! Therefore, alter your behaviour before those things occur.

It's Not All About the Orgasm

Keep in mind that you don't need to remove your partner each time you have hand sex with them. Sex is more than just orgasm. Some people cannot climax under someone else's hands, even if they were the Energizer Bunny; they require their touch and timing to complete the task. So unwind and enjoy yourself. Even if it involves tickling your partner's perineum in between kisses or simply petting their cock for five minutes. You can still cuddle up to them or gaze intently into their eyes and murmur sweet nothings while you take in the performance, even if you let them take over when they're ready to get off.

Get the Right Positions

Positions aren't only for sexual activity. Locate a posture that allows your body to feel supported and at ease. You can rely on pillows. Try getting up and moving. Turn over on your back and give your spouse some space if you've been squatting on the bed and hovering over them. Reposition the pillows and sit, stand, and kneel. Make the swing do the work by getting a sex swing. Enjoy yourself. One thing to remember is that hand sex puts a lot of strain on our small forearm and hand muscles. If your shoulders are in good condition, try to arrange things so they are doing the work. Better still, if your companion can move their hips, have them do it so you can remain primarily motionless. About which...

Be Still

Movement frequently comes to mind when we think about hand sex, such as hard cock stroking or quick clit circling. Instead, try simply placing your palm over your partner's genitalia and possibly fluttering or squeezing them. Examine their eyes. Ask them to share their thoughts with you or tell a seductive story. Allow your playmate to be aroused by the warmth and pressure of your hand, and allow yourself to be excited by the sensation of their genitalia beneath your delicate fingertips.

Don't Limit Yourself to Your Hands

Use your imagination and include additional body parts in your hand sex. Use your hair, toes, the sole of your foot, or your other hand's fingers and nails to tickle or caress your spouse. Additionally, toys can improve your hand-sex play. You can let your hands roam freely by using a toy with moving parts to do the movement for you. Although there is no proof that vibrators can permanently harm healthy nerves, you should ask your doctor if a buzzing vibrator would bother you if you already have nerve damage of any kind. Likewise, cease holding a vibe if it hurts you. If you have access to a store that sells sex toys and allows you to handle them, you may try to determine which ones are simpler for you to grasp and have less handle vibration. Do you find it challenging to maintain your hold when playing with a penis? A penis sleeve could be the solution if you need something more significant to grasp. Additionally, lube can increase touch sensitivity, which reduces the effort required of your fingertips.

If It Starts to Hurt, You Can Choose to Stop

It's usually a good idea to stop doing anything that might be causing your wrist to cramp or your fingers to feel painful or numb. However, if you're turned on, you can ignore the discomfort. However, the choice to persevere must be a deliberate one. You don't have to smile and put up with it. You don't have to use your hands to make someone orgasm, even if I mentioned it before.

To put it another way, you owe them no orgasm. You don't have to feel uncomfortable just because someone else is having a good time. You have an option.

Keep in mind that having sex is play and ought to be enjoyable.