Free Use
Relationships in which partners have committed to continuous open sexual accessibility without requesting consent prior to each encounter are referred to as free use. Nonetheless, it is an entirely voluntary practice. Free-use relationships can and do involve people of various genders and sexual orientations, despite the fact that they gained a lot of popularity online by catering to clichés about sexually insatiable men and their ready female companions.
Theoretically, a kink that entails constant sexual availability is a subset of consensual, non-consent, free use, according to sex journalist and 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do author Kate Sloan.
What is consensual non-consent?
Understanding the definition and operation of voluntary non-consent is crucial to comprehending free use. Consensual non-consent is a type of exchange of power. This occurs when one partner (often referred to as a submissive) cedes control to another (sometimes referred to as a dominant), and the two of them participate in prearranged, mutually agreeable situations that simulate the submissive partner being "forced" into sexual situations, "punished" for misbehavior, humiliated for their partner's pleasure, or anything else that they do not want in the scene.
It is crucial to understand that all of the behaviors involved in consensual non-consent are pre-negotiated and jointly agreed upon. Additionally, it can be halted at any moment, typically by using a safe word. Both parties know to stop all play when they hear, see, or feel the predetermined safe words or gestures. To make sure their partner doesn't miss their safe word, some people utilize stoplight terminology (red indicates halt, like at a traffic light) or words they wouldn't use in a sexual context (like "Constantinople").
Only dependable partners who will protect one another and adhere to the boundaries they have established together should engage in consensual non-consent.
It should be properly negotiated, and a safeword is essential, just like any other type of CNC. However, free use can be an enjoyable approach to advance power exchange for individuals who appreciate it, Sloan said.
How does free use work?
Free usage, like most fetishes, comes in many levels, with people using it as much or as little as is appropriate for them and their relationship.
The following are a few instances of how free usage could operate, but there are many more:
- Instead of extending the dynamic to all sexual behavior, monogamous couples have decided to use it in relation to a specific range of behaviors.
- Relationships in which one spouse frequently goes about their everyday business without pausing or reacting, allowing the other who has been given "free use" privileges to do as they like.
- Agreements wherein one partner commits to living only to be a source of pleasure. Letting their partner—and others, if agreed upon beforehand—approach them and use their body for sex at any moment without any preparation, foreplay, or inquiry.
More About Free Use
It is crucial to understand that all free-use relationships, no matter their type, require constant, passionate consent and an agreement that may be terminated at any time, just like any other happy and healthy relationship.
Although saying "he has full access to my body at any time" may be an appealing aspect of kink, good free-use relationships necessitate that both partners maintain the capacity to say "no" to behaviors that do not pique their interest or when they are not in the mood for sexual activity.
