Everything You Need to Know Before Your First CFNM Party

Except for female-presenting attendees who assume a dominating position and stay dressed and male-presenting visitors who take a submissive one and are (nearly) naked, CFNM events generally resemble your typical BDSM play party.

A group of people get together for kink play and sociability during a "Clothed Female, Naked Male" (CFNM) party. In contrast to typical play parties, this one has a distinct kink-centric focus: the male presenters are either completely naked or wearing very little clothing, while all of the female presenters are fully clothed.

This can be an intense sexual turn-on for many people, in addition to strengthening the power dynamic between women in authority. To further eliminate any potential distractions, the power dynamic is evident as soon as you enter CFNM parties, which typically only admit dominant-leaning women and submissive-leaning men. (Clothed Female, Naked Male is the opposite of Clothed Female, Naked Male.)

(Switches are also typically permitted; make sure you remain in your assigned role for the duration of the celebration.)

Apart from the attire, a CFNM party operates much like any other kinky play party. This means there will be numerous locations set up for people to engage in kinky play with each other. There may even be chairs nearby to make it more pleasant to observe, and watching others play is usually encouraged! While some people plan to play together at play parties well in advance, others make last-minute plans for that evening's play during the party. Some people might only play with their committed partners. Certain play parties exclusively include kink and BDSM-based activities, while others permit sexual activity and penetration. There will typically be a specific "social" space where people congregate to converse, bargain, and spend time with friends.

What's the Point of a CFNM Party?

There is a power imbalance as soon as you step through the door of a CFNM party, unlike regular play parties. This is true whether the person sitting next to you is your longtime lover or a stranger.

This may make you drunk. Since they are denied even the most fundamental privilege of clothing, all the submissives present are inferior or subservient.

The party itself has a power dynamic like this, which can make the disparity in power feel more "alive."  Every submissive is not "in charge"; every femdom is. Which is which? In this scenario, it's as easy as observing who is wearing the pants.

Submissives in attendance, irrespective of their relationship to other femdoms present, tend to exhibit service-based actions as a result of the elevated headspace of CFNM gatherings. Most people welcome this kind of behavior. Most CFNM parties reward submissives for assisting with the party or bringing refreshments. Their "jobs" are to serve the present femdoms. (This service is typically restricted to non-sexual services; ensure you follow the guidelines of your local CFNM party.)

Because of this inherent power dynamic, CFNM events are often comfortable for single individuals to attend. Conversations flow organically rather than worrying about approaching someone of the opposing gender to set up the play. A femdom might approach a new submissive to ask them to take her coat, while a submissive might approach a new femdom to offer to get a cup of water.

However, some people may find this inherent power dynamic unsettling. For unknown femdoms, attendees may automatically use honorifics (such as "Mistress" or "Queen"). Unfamiliar submissives may be approached by attending femidoms to request service. Many completely nude persons will be near your own body. Some kinksters may find CFNM gatherings unpleasant due to any of these factors, and that's completely acceptable.

The distinctive atmosphere distinguishes CFNM parties from BDSM parties in general. To make CFNM parties feel like CFNM parties, participants need to act out their parts (to the extent that they feel comfortable doing so). Some folks may find this requirement uncomfortable.

Do CFNM Parties Differ at All from More "Traditional" Play Parties?

People with different identities, power dynamics, bodies, attire, and other characteristics are well-represented at general BDSM play events. And they're fantastic! As long as you behave well, you should be able to get along at a general BDSM party regardless of your kink, age, gender, or appearance. You'll also see a wide range of people there.

A CFNM party, on the other hand, is more focused. Only those who identify as submissive-leaning males and freedoms (female dominants) are often permitted in. (Some inclusive CFNM parties may also include submissives who identify as female, even if this does not fall under the "CFNM" label. Regardless of gender, submissives can typically be easily identified from dominants since they differentiate themselves by simply not wearing clothing.

While there will still be a nice mix of ages, body types, and kinks at a CFNM event, limiting the guest gender presentations and power dynamics typically results in a considerably smaller gathering with an unavoidable power-exchange environment.

How Do I Find a CFNM Party?

To get to a CFNM party, you must first locate a play party to attend.

While some femdom play parties are hosted in private homes, most are organized by neighborhood kink clubs and are open to the majority of the group.

Connecting with other kinksters and learning about local events is the simplest way to learn about these play parties. Attending the general group will allow you to find out about local femdom organizations, even if the sole kink club in your city is a general BDSM group rather than a femdom-specific one.

It's probably time to show off your internet prowess if you are unable to locate a local kink group. Specifically, as of the time of publication, the majority of kink groups use Fetlife. A social media platform called Fetlife was explicitly created for kinky individuals and kinky events. Utilize their search feature to look up some of the most active groups in the largest city closest to you. You might even be lucky enough to come upon a vibrant local femdom community. It is all required to find the next CFNM party or ask the group when it might be.

Be prepared for the potential that there might not be a CFNM party nearby due to how particular CFNM is. For instance, an organization in my state's biggest city hosts just one CFNM party each year. Other subjects, like pegging parties or foot play, are the main emphasis of the remaining femdom play parties. Your local organization might also be affected, so wear your patient's underwear.

What are the requirements for Attending a CFNM gathering?

Every CFNM celebration is different, with requirements varying depending on the group hosting, the venue, and the organization's desire to "see" its CFNM organized.

However, CFNM parties typically have more stringent attendance rules to reduce the number of unaffiliated guests than other social events or play parties. That's because, regrettably, a party that is so centered around a sexualized fetish and features nude submissives in front of total strangers may mislead people about what to expect. Some groups may welcome new members into their CFNM gatherings since they are more lenient in their eviction policies.

Before you get too enthusiastic, read the guidelines for attending your local CFNM event. Before you are permitted to attend the party, some groups can ask you to participate in a few non-sexual social events to gauge your level of interest.

How Does Consent Work?

On either end of the power exchange continuum, you may worry about being "forced" into something you don't want to do and about giving your agreement at the party.

For instance, a femdom who is dressed at a CFNM party may be concerned that a submissive may try to force their nudity on you in ways that you don't find appealing. However, a nude submissive may worry about the power disparity pressuring you to do things you don't want to do or that you'll be asked to leave if you don't.

For this reason, you should be thoroughly conversant with the party's hosts and the guidelines. Rules and expectations for guests will vary depending on the party.

Other than the clothing code, there won't be any expectations for some of the gatherings, which will be very informal. All dominants and submissives will freely mix at these gatherings; neither group is expected to do so, and aside from the dress code difference, there is no inherent power exchange dynamic.

You might anticipate additional rules at events with higher protocols. It is possible to expect submissives to serve any dominant person nearby in a non-sexual way, like handing her a drink. Unless called upon or addressed by a dominant, subordinates may be expected to remain silent. It may be forbidden for submissives to enter "femdom-only" sections of the room or to sit on the furniture.

A colored wristband may be worn by dominants and submissives seeking assistance from strangers in certain middle-ground parties. Other dominants and submissives will be able to determine who is and is not receptive to a stranger's approach in this way. However, despite this wristband arrangement, you can still anticipate that the submissives would be essentially naked.

Again, carefully read the play party guidelines before agreeing to go since they will outline these expectations in advance.

You want to enjoy yourself, after all, and the first step in enjoying yourself is choosing a play party that will be enjoyable for you. Please message the host to see what changes can be made if the rules of your local play party are too strict for you. But be warned: They might not be as interested in (or willing to) change their procedures for you because group conduct is a component of the exceptional CFNM party experience.

What Should I Wear to A CFNM Party?

Male-Presenting People: (Next to) Nothing

I assume you already know what you're going to wear if you're a male presenter at a CFNM party. Because the party is called "Clothed Female, Naked Male," you should anticipate wearing very little to nothing.

You can only go to some parties if you plan to stay nude the entire time. You can be naked, in your underwear, chaste, wearing fetish gear, or wearing lingerie at other events since they are more forgiving. I've even witnessed gatherings where adult diapers are permitted! Depending on the party, you will be allowed to wear different things.

Before you sign up to participate, the play party regulations frequently include the "dress code" for male-presenting guests. Be careful to listen.

Female-Presenting People: Clothes That Feel Good

You have a lot of alternatives if you're a femdom going to a CFNM party! The sole "requirement" is wearing some clothing.

Some individuals use the occasion to display some of their most beloved kinky attire. Others will get dressed up in some of their most treasured underwear sets. At my most recent CFNM, one woman looked good in a basic bodysuit and heels. You will be inside the boundaries of a CFNM party if you are covered or wearing some gear.

If this is your first time going to a party at a specific venue, you should be cautious. You don't have to dress up completely, but I suggest wearing something attractive and sensual, with some skin showing. Think about dressing like you would for a seductive first date. You can make more specific clothing choices after you've attended a party and observed the overall "vibe" of the gathering.

What If I'm Not a Femdom or Submissive?

Most group hosts will ask you to select between being submissive or femdom for you to attend a CFNM party. They will probably kindly ask you to stay away from this party if you don't identify as a female dominant or submissive; as it's a femdom setting, it's assumed that all of the dominants will be female.

If the CFNM dress restrictions make you feel dysphoric, your local chapter might be able to make an exception. In keeping with the theme, they can urge you to wear collars, fetish apparel, or merely underwear to identify you in your submissive position and maintain the party's dynamics.

Regretfully, some groups could also be impolite and inhospitable to such a request. It's bullshit, but before contacting a group with your request, find out whether they are making an effort to be inclusive and whether a negative response will affect your mental health.

What If I'm Going Solo?

No CFNM party I've ever attended has prohibited guests from attending alone!

Attending a CFNM without a partner is very acceptable. It may even be more fun for you than a typical play party.

The CFNM dynamics result in a stronger implicit power exchange dynamic in the atmosphere. As a result, approaching strangers to offer or request assistance may become simpler. Expecting to engage with other guests can also make a play party more enjoyable.

Should I Be Concerned about My Privacy?

At CFNM gatherings, privacy is a primary concern, just like at other kink events. The majority of people don't want their coworkers or relatives to know about their sexual inclinations. Therefore, most kink events take security and privacy carefully.

It's also important to respect privacy when you're there. You'll be asked to halt if you're acting suspiciously, at most. But, depending on what happened, you can be reported to police enforcement, have your offending device confiscated, be evicted, and be prohibited from attending events in the future. It is certainly not something to take lightly.

Each party will have different privacy and security limits. Since most cell phones have cameras, the most popular regulation is banning them. Therefore, unless particular rules permit cell phones, keep your phone in your car when you attend an event.

Some CFNM events require you to document your house attire before entering the CFNM party. In contrast, others have an event photographer to capture any memories you want to preserve.

What If I Didn't Like My Experience?

It truly saddens me to hear that. People occasionally discover that CFNM gatherings aren't for them.

However, consider what you didn't like about each CFNM party before dismissing them.

Were you uncomfortable and antisocial? That will disappear, though. Making friends in a new group might be challenging at first. Before the next CFNM party, consider attending social events and getting to know individuals.

Did you think the party was too extreme or too conservative? In any case, there is simply an issue with the particular CFNM party. To discover a decent party that suits you, check out some other regional CFNM parties.

Were you eager to play yet unable to locate any other players? If the event permits, consider placing a personal advertisement about wanting to play in the group chat beforehand. Alternatively, consider getting to know people beforehand at such social occasions.

In the realm of kink parties, remember that CFNM parties offer a distinct experience. It's possible that typical BDSM parties don't have some of the aspects of CFNM parties that you found objectionable, such as forced clothing, implicit dynamics, or conversations with a lot of strangers. Determine whether it was a CFNM issue or a general kink party issue before writing about kink parties in general.

What Should I Bring?

Any CFNM party can be treated as a typical play party area, except from your particular attire. This implies that in order to enter, you should have your ID and pay the entrance price.

If you plan to be nude during the event, bring your towel or ask if towels will be provided. You should carry a bag or other container to keep your clothes organized. (If you anticipate making purchases during the party, a pair of socks can be an excellent spot to tuck cash or credit cards.)

Remember to bring your cosmetics and clothes to the event, along with a change of shoes in case you get tired of the high heels you brought if you plan to change into your CFNM-specific attire on-site.

Beyond that, you are free to bring whatever you want. You should probably get the things needed to make the scenes or kinks in your mind come to life. Essential kink devices, rope, impact toys, and cuffs are nearly always fair game.

You should think about bringing safer sex products and any toys you want to use for your penetration enjoyment if the location and party let it.

If you end up setting up some pick-up play with someone at the event, you may always carry a modest assortment of body-safe, clean toys and kink gear if you're traveling alone.

Should I Attend Another CFNM Party?

Did you enjoy yourself, then? If so, you might enjoy CFNM parties!

CFNM parties can be a fun, themed way to mix up your typical femdom gatherings, even though they are less frequent than regular BDSM parties. If you enjoyed your party, consider attending more of the same group's events. You might also want to attempt CFNM parties from other groups to compare them.

CFNM gatherings can be a lot of fun and a great chance to show off your femdom preferences in a mutually safe setting.