Does Crying Turn You On? There's a Name for That

In addition to being a turn-on, crying fosters an emotional bond between people that is similar to what might occur during intercourse.

I was undoubtedly the crier in a previous relationship. I was emotional and young, but not necessarily because it was a sad or unpleasant relationship. Everything made me cry. When I felt happy, I cried. When I unintentionally stubbed my toe, I started crying. After an orgasm, I started crying. A minor annoyance made me cry. I was unable to shut the floodgates once they were open. And it surprised me that when I started crying, my partner would get aroused. He was attracted to tears, whether they were joyous or sad. For us, it was more of a joke at the time. It was hilarious that closeness would follow my waterworks. However, we never looked into why crying was so attractive, and we hardly discussed it other than to laugh off the embarrassment later.

Turned-On by Tears? There's a Name for That

There is more to dacryphilia than just being aroused by a teardrop. Because a participant may be aroused by shaming someone till they cry (a d/s situation) or find joy in crying themselves, it's a somewhat dense kink. For people who have a sobbing kink, becoming wet has two meanings. Even a forum called Crying Lovers exists where users share videos, fiction stories, pictures of people crying, and photos of them meeting up with one another. There is a route where there is a kink.

Richard Greenhill and Mark D. Griffiths published a study in 2015 titled "Compassion, Dominance/Submission, and Curled Lips: A Thematic Analysis of Dacryphilic Experience." However, there isn't much research on this particular kink. Because there were so few participants in the little study, the researchers concluded that curled lips, dominance/submission, and compassion were the leading causes of necrophiliac inclinations.

Real World Experience: Why Tears?

"Seeing my partner very vulnerable and open turns me on," Taylor* told me. I get aroused when she cries because crying in front of someone requires a certain intimacy. But I've never followed through or expressed my feelings to her because I'm embarrassed and afraid she'll interpret it negatively. After two years of dating, Taylor holds and caresses his lover instead of responding to his excitement. Instead of "scaring her away by saying I become sexually aroused when I see her tears and see how she looks when she cries," he would rather be her support system for the time being.

According to a 2010 NPR story, sobbing has a "purpose" and is a characteristic that defines us as "human." According to the report, crying strengthens bonds between partners and can enhance relationships. Furthermore, dacryphilia may be a normal human reaction, even for fetishists, in which a person desires to care for and attend to the person who is sobbing.

Those who are drawn to someone's tears could initially appear to be sadists. No suffering or emotional abuse comes to me when I think back on my previous relationship. I consider it an untapped kink. I do believe that dacryphilia can exist outside of BDSM, and it was not a BDSM relationship. It may be the way the chin trembles, the way the lip curls, or the way the tears themselves stream down the cheeks.

For some, such as Iris*, when she cried, her ex-partner would lick the tears from her face without getting her permission. Since his emotional abuse frequently caused the tears in the first place, Iris finally requested her spouse to stop since it made her uncomfortable.

On Kinkopedia, an anonymous user stated that they are attracted by "the quivering lip, the way the eyes light up when they water up with tears, they all look good to me." I'm excited by the sight, but I'm also aroused by the firm want to console them by kissing them all over.

Crying as a Cathartic Release

Many of her submissives want to cry, according to Miss Jenn Davis, a fetish model and professional disciplinarian. According to her, they typically write an email stating their objective is "to get spanked to the point of crying" before meeting several of them. "It might be the bond that forms between spanker and spankee and feeling unconditionally loved at the time of spanking," she continued. Being spanked out of love, wanting to bring out the best in that person, and feeling like the spanker genuinely cares about their wellbeing. If the person is requesting a spanking or role-play, I explain that they must have an emotional reason for wanting to cry if they hope to increase their chances of doing so."

"Crying is very cathartic and and being able to'release' those pent up emotions, all that stuff bottled up inside, sometimes for years or decades," says Davis, a professional spanker.

It's easy to forget that crying or sobbing may be a therapeutic experience because it's often connected to destructive emotions. It can be natural for the crier to let go of their feelings, which leaves them feeling revived and invigorated.

In retrospect, I question whether I exploited my boyfriend, who took pleasure in witnessing my cries. Did I weep unconsciously because I knew it would result in empathy and closeness? Did I cry so that I could receive a hug, kiss, or other form of affection that would eventually result in sexual activity? Looking back and seeing that things weren't totally healthy but appeared normal enough at the time is an odd experience. Although I didn't know what dacryphilia was then, I am now aware. I would have handled the matter with a more positive, informed attitude and perspective if I had been aware of this kink at the time. Weeping is a pleasant release.

Furthermore, displaying that vulnerability can undoubtedly strengthen a relationship between two people. Aside from fetishes, crying in front of someone you love is lovely. It indicates that you are fearless and judgment-free. Free to experience and let go of those feelings. Feel free to engage with it all in a way that makes you feel connected to someone else.