Dirty Talk 101: The Art of Using Your Words

Smooth operator, go to gabbin'. Here are some tips for becoming an expert at nasty conversations.

The most potent erogenous organ in the body is the mind. Great dirty chat can quickly transform even the most laid-back lover from neutral to frisky because of this. Words have a magical power!

Talking nastily may seem easy, but sometimes it looks like balancing on a tightrope. What should I say? What should I not say? We need answers to these questions!

I'll go over some advice and ideas in this post on verbally mindfucking your spouse into a crying, quivering, panting mess.

Learn Your Partner's Mind

Sexuality is similar to a fingerprint in that each person's wiring is distinct. What makes one person happy could make another one feel awful. Our fetishes' particular triggers can be little or appear unimportant. For example, for a foot fetishist, a specific shade of nail polish—or none at all—can make or ruin a sexual encounter.

Try understanding the specifics and dynamics that turn your partner on and off rather than adhering to a predetermined script in the bedroom. Do they enjoy overt displays of affection or ruthless dominance? Do they prefer to feel clean or dirty? Good or bad? Are you calm or scared? Worshipped or denigrated? Depending on the situation, tone, and time, all of the above? You will be on the correct path if you can find solutions to these questions.

To get ideas, find out what kinds of events, activities, or things your spouse fantasizes about. You might even ask them to show you some of the erotica or porn they have previously loved. When they share this knowledge with you, don't forget to remain receptive. They might not feel comfortable sharing in the future if your response makes them feel silly. (Unless, of course, they enjoy feeling stupid. Hur hur hurr.)

Take Your Intimacy Level Into Account

Particularly in sexual settings, we are more likely to be open and receptive to persons we know well and trust. Even if your words are essential to your partner's kinks, they might not find specific words attractive until they've had more time to get to know you.

The atmosphere might be destroyed by using offensive words, profanity, or even phrases of endearment too quickly. Although it may surprise you, the last one is accurate.

I personally avoid people who start calling me names like "kitten," "baby girl," or "slut" before we've built a strong rapport. It seems presumptuous to me. Your companion might have a different opinion.

Instead of plunging into the deep end, wading into the pool is usually preferable to test the water. On the other hand, some kind people leave breadcrumbs for us to follow.

"Professor, am I the most careless student in your class? Will you demonstrate what happens to mischievous schoolgirls who neglect their assignments?

" (Well, now that you've mentioned it.) YES. Indeed, I am.

What a present.

Keep it Simple and Natural.

When we're anxious, it's simple to get overly enthusiastic. Take a step back into your comfort zone and return your attention to your partner if you find yourself babbling endlessly, struggling to find the right words, or becoming preoccupied with your words. If you don't, they'll probably sense your anxiety and feel under pressure to perform or prove your confidence, making it difficult for them to relax and have fun.

Talking nastily doesn't have to be theatrical, flowery, corny, or inauthentic. A single word or statement can brighten the mood for many people.

Frequency Matters

Dirty conversation is more appealing to certain people than to others. It could mean all the difference between constant communication and none.

Yes, darling, do you enjoy this cock? Tell me you want it. When I fuck you like this, how does it feel? Do you enjoy being stretched and filled? I can't take it, you're so tight, my god. What's my name? Pronounce my name!

In contrast,

"Stop talking and give me time to gather my thoughts."

If you're not sure how to go, start in the middle and evaluate where you and your partner sit on this spectrum. Silence at the library level might not feel enough, but most people will likely find it too much to be told about the entire event.

Say Stuff That Turns YOU on Too

The best nasty chat will leave you both incredibly engorged or wet. It can be best to express your feelings and bypass everything your spouse wishes to hear if it turns you off. Countless words could be extracted from the air. Discover what you have in common and make the most of it.

Specific Suggestions

Here are some suggestions to get your creative juices flowing. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and what suits one person may not suit another. Be cautious not to venture into a non-consensual zone and consider which will mesh well with your partner's tastes. It's better to be careful than sorry!

Create anticipation:

  • "I'll be surprising you later."
  • "You must be prepared and waiting by precisely 8 p.m."
  • "When I get home, you're in trouble."

Express possession:

  • "I own you."
  • "My good boy is that."
  • "To whom do you belong?"

Imply devotion:

  • "Baby, do it for me."
  • "Mistress, I live to please you."

Use names or titles:

  • "What's my name? I want to listen to you say it.
  • When I fuck you, you address me as Sir. Do you hear me?
  • "My lord, my lady, king, queen, boss, minx, captain, Supreme High Chancellor of the Bedroom Realm, sweetheart, baby, enslaver, mistress, slave, sir, ma'am, daddy, mommy, little one, kitten, puppy, pet, slut, whore, fucktoy, goddess," etc. SELECT THEM.

Make requests and commands:

  • "On your knees."
  • "Come over here and get your sexy ass."
  • "Lick my clit like your fucking life depends on it," I said.
  • "Undress as gradually as you can, beginning with your top. No. Slower than that. Place it on the shelf after folding it properly. The other shelf, that is. Listen carefully and follow my directions! Now bend over, turn to your right, and remove your underwear. Oh, I see! Not 45 degrees, but 90! Christ Jesus! (You control freak, how obsessively detailed can you get?)

Threaten them, if they're into that:

  • "I'm going to have to fuck you if you continue to prattle around my house nude."
  • "If you continue to pout like that, you will end up over my knee."
  • "Mister, I think I've had enough of your attitude."
  • "You're going to regret that, lady."

Compliment them, if they're into that:

  • "You feel fantastic, God."
  • "You have the most amazing cock."
  • "You look so lovely down there."
  • "Your noises are the best."
  • "You're just too damn hot."

Express enthusiasm:

  • "I enjoy forcing you to come."
  • "I could spend all day eating this pussy."
  • "MORE!"

Use porny words rather than clinical ones:

  • "Cock, pussy, clit, ass, and tits" as opposed to "penis, vagina, clitoris, buttocks, and breasts"

Use adjectives that target how they like to feel:

  • "Untidy, filthy, unpleasant, or messy"
  • "Enchanting, beautiful, charming, and sweet."
  • "Awesome, cute, small, and tiny"
  • "Sexy/hot"
  • "Well-behaved, good, and obedient"
  • "Naughty, bad, or disobedient"
  • "Mean, frightening, intimidating, or frightening"
  • "Big, strong, dominating, and commanding"

Comment on the situation at hand:

  • "You can't move a single inch while bound like that, can you? It must be uncomfortable.
  • "You're so deep, fuck."
  • "Go all the way in... just a few more inches and you're done."
  • "I'll be there!"

Focus on the fantasy:

  • Pet, go upstairs and grab your leash. We're taking a stroll.
  • "You believe being late to work is acceptable in this office?"
  • "In my classroom, eye-rolling will not be tolerated."
  • "Don't worry, there won't be much pain." (*cries uncontrollably as you snap latex gloves*)

Ask for consent:

  • "Baby, do you want to get fucked?"
  • "Do you want more, or is that too difficult?"
  • "Is that pleasant to feel?"
  • "How would you feel if I kept you like a fucktoy-in-waiting beneath my desk?"

Beg:

  • "Please, Daddy, please, please, please!"
  • "Oh my, more difficult! I must have it!
  • "I can't wait to feel you inside of me."
  • "No! No! Don't, please! Anything but that! (Remember the consensual non-consent fans and safewords.)

Shut them up:

  • "Shhh, be quiet."
  • "You got that, little one? I don't want to hear from you at all."
  • "You will talk when someone speaks to you, not before. Do you understand?
  • "You useless excuse for a slave, I don't recall asking for your opinion."

Do you have any additional ideas? See what sticks after giving them a try.

"What if I go too far?"

You might say something that doesn't quite hit the mark and eventually irritates, offends, or turns off your companion.

Please don't be hard on yourself because you're only human, but don't dismiss their response. Experimentation can be made or broken with a simple apology.

Was that too much? Oh sh*t. I apologize. I was merely experimenting with nasty talk. If you don't like that, I won't repeat it.

As you practice and have a deeper understanding of your partner's thinking, you will eventually be able to speak dirty more easily. Smooth operator, go to gabbin'.