A Brief Guide to Threesomes

"How do I do this?" is the question on everyone's mind as Zendaya's new "tennis à trois" movie Challengers opens in theatres. The movie explores a three-way connection between Zendaya and two others.

According to data from a 2024 Adutoys study, as many as two out of five (40%) adults in the UK have either had or want a threesome. Another 31% would be open to or have had an open relationship. Married or civilly partnered people were more likely to be open to a threesome (43%) or open relationship (36%), so it's far from a lone person's ideal.

According to Adutoys' Sex & Relationships expert, Isabelle Knight, adding a third partner or trying out multiple-person sex can be thrilling, exhilarating, and refreshing. Still, if done incorrectly or at an uncomfortable time, it can also lead to conflict, uncertainty, and insecurity.

In light of this, Adutoys has put together a comprehensive beginner's guide to threesomes that covers everything you need to know, from how to bring up the subject with your partner to what you need to do to make the most of your time together, to which positions and techniques are most effective for your three-way (or more) sex.

Start With A One-to-One

It's a good idea to schedule some time to discuss whether you would feel comfortable sharing your threesome experience with your spouse.

Take this opportunity to talk about and reassure your partner about their most prevalent concerns: it will lead to conflict and envy and perhaps endanger your existing relationship.

Don't try to force the topic, though, if one of you feels less inclined to believe it's the right choice for your relationship after talking about it. Pressuring someone to try something in the bedroom they don't want to is more likely to ruin your relationship than having a threesome because it may be interpreted as disrespecting their personal boundaries.

Discuss what kind of person you're searching for and how you want your threesome (or more) encounter to go if you're both okay with allowing a third person into your bed. It's crucial to consider whether you would feel comfortable inviting a friend or acquaintance to join you or would rather have your external partner or partners be unknown to you. Many couples create a joint profile on a dating website or forum detailing their desired partners and the behaviors they are looking for.

Set Boundaries

Be sure to talk about your limitations and boundaries. This could include the behaviors you and your partner would feel comfortable performing together and those they would feel comfortable performing. In the heat of the moment, you must maintain these limits because failing to do so may have unintended consequences later.

Remember that boundaries apply to more than just you and your spouse. Later, you should include your third party or any outside partners in these discussions. It's a good idea to start a conversation with someone you've found who wants to spend time with you in bed. You might even ask them out for coffee or a drink to get to know them better. Learn about their interests and personal characteristics.

This isn't always required because many people decide not to interact with several outside partners on such an intimate level. Still, it also creates the ideal setting for discussing expectations and boundaries.

Decide on any ground rules you would like to establish, such as the kind of connection you hope to have with them after the three-way experience. Whether you do this at a social gathering first or right before, remember that even though your relationship comes first, they are people who should always be treated equally.

The (Not-So-Bare) Necessities

Even though it may seem dull, ensuring that all three of you are ready will make the entire experience more comfortable and calm. These are the three things you need to consider before going to bed.

• Likes and Dislikes: To set limits and guidelines, it's critical to discuss in advance what sex acts—from kissing to anal intercourse—you're all comfortable performing. Recall that you will only enjoy yourself if everyone else is enjoying themselves.
• Protection: You've probably heard about condoms and other such measures before. However, ensure you use the appropriate protection when rotating between partners until you feel safe sharing fluids after being tested and returning clean. Although it may seem like a pain, it's far more straightforward than becoming sick.
• Safety: Health conditions, including allergies, asthma, and epilepsy disorders, can all ruin a sexy mood and make it frightening for partners if they occur during intercourse. Mentioning any conditions you may have that could flare up in advance, and the best approach to aid you if this happens is the most excellent way to keep everyone safe and happy. If you need medicine, such as asthma inhalers, put them in a handy location. Having a lover astound you is always wonderful, but perhaps not literally.

Furthermore, since it's never ideal to discover that you or your partner have a latex allergy during intercourse, it's usually helpful to keep a supply of well-fitting, latex-free condoms on hand.

The Best Positions

It's time for the exciting part now that you're all ready! These are some of Adutoys' top sex positions that are suitable for multiple-partner intercourse. If threesomes start to become a regular part of your sex life, you'll need to be creative and try out new toys and positions.

The Love All

If you're new to threesomes, the Love All is a great position to add a third. Since that's how it looks, they also refer to this three-way as the Eiffel Tower. With the aid of a strap-on or two, a trio with two or even three clits can easily enjoy this position, even though it works best when two penis owners and someone with a vulva come to play.

The Serve and Volley

The Serve and Volley is another entertaining position that can be readily adjusted to fit a group of three. A variation on the traditional cowgirl pose, you can add a third to your ride to allow for side-face seating. Both lovers on top are in the ideal position to experiment with extra stimulation, like kissing or nipple play, if they are facing each other.

The Underarm Serve

Not every fantastic sex position requires penetration. Sometimes, getting your threesome going and the juices flowing so that everyone is prepared to rumble can be achieved with a bit of mutual masturbation. It's also a fantastic chance to learn more about your new buddy and discover what makes them tick by reading their body language.

Here is a quick overview of threesomes and multiple-partner relationships. There is no "one sure way" to enjoy having sex with multiple people; instead, every encounter is unique to you and your partners, and your experiences will be your own. Making sure that everyone is heard, appreciated, and taken into consideration before, during, and after the main event is the single hard-and-fast rule to having the most incredible threesome or poly encounter possible.

Take your threesome encounter to the next level by checking out some of our suggested best-selling toys.