Total Power Exchange

In a BDSM relationship dynamic known as total power exchange (TPE), the partners have decided that the dominant has complete control over the submissive. Total power exchange typically relates to sexual settings. Still, it can also mean that the dominant has control over every other aspect of the submissive's life in a way that they have jointly discussed and determined. Any gender connection can experience TPE. TPE may be a type of femidom when the dominating person identifies as a woman.

How does Total Power Exchange work in BDSM relationships?

In a comprehensive power exchange, the dominant makes all of the decisions on behalf of the submissive. Without protest or debate, the submissive consents to follow instructions. If the submissive challenges the dominant, the dominant may punish them in accordance with their agreement.

Sexual interactions may occur during a comprehensive power exchange. For instance, according to the dominant's commands, the submissive may engage in penetrative intercourse, perform or receive oral sex, touch oneself, or refrain from touching themselves. The exchanges, nevertheless, might also be non-sexual. For instance, a submissive might prepare the dominant's meal, tidy the house, or dress in a way that the dominant finds appealing.

Many people find total power exchange attractive because of the degree of confidence involved. It can be frightening and freeing for the submit to trust the dominant fully. For the dominant, this is also a tremendous responsibility that should not be ignored. Nonetheless, the power dynamic present in BDSM relationships is typically strengthened by total power exchange. While the dominant enjoys controlling their submit, the submissive enjoys relinquishing control.

Whether the dynamic is permanent or only lasts for a few hours or days at a time, some individuals use the term "total power exchange" to describe any situation where power completely shifts. For these individuals, the amount of time a submissive devotes to TPE is less important than the complete confidence and faith they place in their dominant during these moments. Others, however, save the phrase for agreements that are long-term lifestyle decisions. We refer to this as a 24/7 total power exchange. Although this is not always the case, the dominant and submissive in these relationships typically live together as a pair. If the dominant and submissive are dedicated and have the proper attitude, TPE may also be present in an online relationship.

More About Total Power Exchange

Micromanaging someone's life is typically not the goal of total power exchange. Rather, the pair is more likely to establish rules that the dominant enforces for the submissive to observe. This mutually agreed-upon agreement is periodically reviewed to ensure that both parties are still satisfied.

What are some of the activities included in TPE?

The subordinate fully trusts the dominant partner during TPE, believing they would look out for their pleasure and best interests. The trust that their submissive has placed in them should never be abused by a good dominant. On the other hand, submissives are constantly searching for dominants they can rely on to watch after them. Activities and interests that may be present in a relationship, including a complete power exchange, include:

• Collaring
• Controlling orgasms or denying them
• Assistance
• The dominant person's appearance and behavior

This does not imply, however, that complete power exchange occurs in all BDSM relationships. Submissives and dominants occasionally play together while repressing aspects of themselves. This could happen when people are only beginning to know one another and determining whether or not to trust them. This is a partial rather than a complete power exchange.

Additionally, some people may follow different guidelines or procedures when conversing publicly and privately. For instance, when in public, a submissive might wait for the dominant to begin eating, yet wait until instructed when to eat in private. When the rules are relaxed, it is easier for persons in partnerships with total power exchange to mix with vanilla people.

How can I ensure I'm playing safely?

Rather than denying the submissive's human rights or personal agency, the performance of complete control is more important in a total power exchange. It is crucial to keep in mind that if someone expresses a desire for control without getting permission or constant affirmation, this is not kink but rather abuse.

Because the dominant has so much control over their submission, some people may perceive a relationship involving complete power exchange as abusive. People outside of the BDSM world may find it extremely difficult to comprehend that the submissive maintains control throughout TPE. This is because the submissive has the right to end the play at any moment in sane, respectful D/s relationships. The key to this arrangement is the dominant's ability to exercise power securely and mutually agreeably while the submissive's ability to cede control.

A kink or BDSM contract is comparable to a total power exchange (TPE) contract. It is a written agreement that the dominant and submissive create to review their mutual consent to engage in particular power dynamics. This contract will enforce their separate bounds. This could include situations where the submissive is free to reject a demand made by the dominant and situations where either party is permitted to end the TPE relationship entirely. Each contract may take on a varied form based on the parties' requirements. A consensus over assigned tasks must be reached before playing Total Power Exchange.

It's critical to distinguish between intimate partner violence (IPE) and unwanted physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, which can manifest as domestic violence or unwelcome manipulative or dominating behavior from a partner. Sadly, the BDSM community is not exempt from this kind of violence, which is widespread.

The dominant and submissive parties should discuss their interests and harsh or soft boundaries before starting a TPE arrangement. Dominants must be mindful of soft limits and respect the rigid boundaries set by their subordinates. If the submissive cannot communicate vocally, they should devise a safe action and a safe word. If a submissive wants to halt, slow down, or alter the activity, they can use their safeword or safe action.

This approach guarantees that the entire power exchange is always agreed upon. Because submissives may be reluctant to do anything other than comply with their dominant's orders, the dominant should also monitor their submissives and use their own discretion when deciding whether play should stop or slow down.